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  • music, random, and a little irony

    Let me start this off with saying that if this is funny to you then it just means that I’m flippin hilarious. If it’s not it’s fever induced because I’m sick. Though this may be disputed by many people Hilary Clinton has an innie not an outie. If you don’t get it then I won’t even bother to explain. Brown Eyed Girl is an amazing song. Bob Marley shot the sheriff out of self defense. I shot the Deputy because  Bob says he didn’t and I was hanging out with him at the time and felt the need to bust a cap myself. I heard both those songs on the way home from IHOP. I believe in the right to bear arms. I don’t believe in hippies. I love Hidaway Pizza. I don’t like the creepy IHOP pancake chick on their mats. It makes me not want to drink the water I order everytime I go. Now let me tell you about the irony story. So there I was at work minding my business ignoring customers as much as I possible can and this guy rolls up in his wheelchair. He was all by himself and he asked me were the ankle braces were. I tried not to laugh out loud but it was hard. I guess you never know when you’ll twist your ankle that has no feeling in it. One more thing. On the way to IHOP I had a guy in a souped up toyota pull up next to me and rev his engine. I guess he wanted to race me. So the light turns green and he takes off as I’m sitting there thinking does this douche bag want to race me? So he “raced me” and apparantly won because I was wondering if he was serious or not. Congrats dude on winning. That means you must have a bigger man part than me. Insert penis jokes here. While your making jokes about my penis I insert it into your Mom. The end.

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