Dive into the archives.

• The art of eye humping

  We have a national pastime at work and it’s called eye humping. You may think you know what it is or think you know by what it’s called but you don’t. While most people take a casual glance at a beautiful women and maybe do a double take. With eye humping you look at them and imagine having dirty sex with them. See you didn’t know that. When I say dirty sex I don’t mean something gross………..I mean just rough sex with no strings attached. You can insert fuck or fucking instead of sex because that’s what it is. Weekends are the best time for this and with the weather getting warm and less clothes I’m sure there will be plenty of it to make us go blind……..in more than one way. If you don’t get that then you’re a douchebag or a different gender. I’m just trying to help my prostate. I want to talk about Bono for a minute or two. You’ve got Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson “doing” all these things for black people. When I saying “doing” I mean talking a lot without doing shit for black people. Bono is from Ireland and has done so much for Africa and AIDS. He has done more than the both of them combined. Al and Jesse…………quit talking and start doing. I can’t believe people look up to you and see you as role models. Get a fucking life and if you have a cause do something about it…….bitches. West west yo. I’ll write more another time but I’m tired.

  Apr 27, 2008 · category: random
  
  Posted by Captain Obvious

• Is there such thing as a mad hippie?

  What up peeps and the answer is yes as ironic as that sounds. My friend that is a hippie was i-fucking-rate the other night. I thought I was a pissed off individual but this guy takes the cake. It’s funny because he’s totally a hippie. He really hates everyone and most likely wants you reading this to die and probably the Captain as well. I feel his pain. Sometimes life is a bitch then you die. I just keep on truckin and raging instead of hitting someone with a two by four. There hasn’t been much raging on the site lately and I’m about to bring it back. I hate white, black, brown, pink, yellow, purple, and pink people all equally. Speaking of equality……..I’m tired of everyone using race, sex, gender, etc….as an excuse for everything. You treat me this way because I’m black, gay, white, tall, fat………..shut the fuck up. The reason we treat you that way is because you’re being a dildo. Not because of that other shit. You want to be treated the same and with respect then do it yourself. I read today where Dr. Phil made 90 million dollars last year. The first thought in my head was………..why?  He’s a douche bag people. He needs to be sent to an island along with John Mayer, Oprah, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Lebron James, and every other douche bag in the world. Carmelo Anthony was arrested for a DUI. Why am I the only one not surprised? He’s a fucking thug. Dumbass. West west yo.

  Apr 14, 2008 · category: people
  
  Posted by Captain Obvious