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- If I didn’t have humor I would sit in a tower and shoot people
Good thing I have family and friends that make me laugh or you might die. I know that’s kind of harsh and may rub people the wrong way. You know what you can do………….rub your face into my penis….insert penis jokes here. I can’t explain my mood right now. I’m in an alright mood but i guess I’m just a bitter person. I work in a place where you have to deal with people and I don’t really like people. There are always those cool people who are understanding and nice but most of them are retarded and gay. A lot of foreign people come to America and get East Coast attitudes where they demand and think they run shit. I had a retard come in and ask me if a exercise bike was manual or electronic. I thought of a bunch of comments such as……..go back to your country fucktard, are you serious, what would be the point of that, are you special, or to just walk away. I said ummmmmm no. He then asked me what the plug in was for and I told him the display and walked off. Then a person with a heart of gold came and helped him because I would have been mean and made him cry or been fired. John Daniels delt with an idiot too but I’ll let him tell that story if he feels like it or ever writes another blog. Let me just say this guy walked around like he had a permanent concussion. He had that look that just says dddddddrrrrrrrrrrr loud and all the time. Charles Barkley is the next Anchor Man. Axl I want my free f’n Dr. Pepper. Add any other random thought here. Me without rage is like a porn flick without sex. I hope I don’t lose it ever. I know Bourbon won’t ever lose it. Neither will John and Tom. We’ve all been slacking on this site but I promise I’ll try to put more blogs up and not just links. I have to work tomorrow and it should be busy. Let’s all hope you are at the lake or doing stuff that doesn’t involve you being anywhere close to where I’m at. I’m sure you’re not a dumb ass idiot because your reading my blog but there might be a chance and I don’t want to deal with you if you are……..go have fun……..don’t bother me or ask me a dumb ass question. That’s all I got tonight. West west yo.
May 25, 2008 · category: random
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Really?
Another reason to hate dirty hippies. This might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. Peep it here. This requires reading. It’s not a video. But if you don’t like to read it’s ok because you can see what I’m talking about. I really don’t like hippies. West west yo.
May 18, 2008 · category: Articles, random
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Is there such thing as a mad hippie?
What up peeps and the answer is yes as ironic as that sounds. My friend that is a hippie was i-fucking-rate the other night. I thought I was a pissed off individual but this guy takes the cake. It’s funny because he’s totally a hippie. He really hates everyone and most likely wants you reading this to die and probably the Captain as well. I feel his pain. Sometimes life is a bitch then you die. I just keep on truckin and raging instead of hitting someone with a two by four. There hasn’t been much raging on the site lately and I’m about to bring it back. I hate white, black, brown, pink, yellow, purple, and pink people all equally. Speaking of equality……..I’m tired of everyone using race, sex, gender, etc….as an excuse for everything. You treat me this way because I’m black, gay, white, tall, fat………..shut the fuck up. The reason we treat you that way is because you’re being a dildo. Not because of that other shit. You want to be treated the same and with respect then do it yourself. I read today where Dr. Phil made 90 million dollars last year. The first thought in my head was………..why? He’s a douche bag people. He needs to be sent to an island along with John Mayer, Oprah, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Lebron James, and every other douche bag in the world. Carmelo Anthony was arrested for a DUI. Why am I the only one not surprised? He’s a fucking thug. Dumbass. West west yo.
Apr 14, 2008 · category: people
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Word to your moms son
Guess who is back in the motherf’n house with a fat rant for your motherf’n mouth. Not the real lyrics but you get the idea. First thing I want to talk about is customers at the job I work at. Yes I ended that sentence with a preposition. First yesterday two dudes that were gay came in and bought a treadmill. Then tried fitting it in a Honda car. Yeah not so much. Then I told the guy he had to return the treadmill or come right back because we can’t hold it for them and he gets attitude with me and says…………I wouldn’t expect you to (pretty sure he’s the catcher in the relationship. Word up to John for that one.) and then I say hey you don’t have to give me f’n attitude and walked off like I had big man parts because I told a fag off. Yes I’m huge. Second we close at 7 p.m. on Sundays and there was a guy strolling with his kid up and down not concerned we were closed. I get fed up and tell him the registar is about to close. He says what in 40 minutes. I tell him no in 2. He says…….what time do you close? I tell him 7 and he says it’s 6:20 to where I tell him it’s 7:20 and he gets red faced and realizes he forgot to set his clock a flippin week ago. Were you late all week to work buddy? F’n loser. By the way thanks to John Daniels for letting me know that night to move my clock foward or I might have been late to work for a week. I’ve been trying to be calm and not get mad about stuff lately but I had to get some rage out tonight. So I’ll end it with fuck, damn, douche, ass, bastard and a west west yo.
Mar 18, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Real quick
John Mayer is very talented but has some of the gayest songs ever made. So dumb and wimpy. That’s pretty bad coming from a guy who admits he likes 80’s pop. One more thing. Why is the bad guy in every 80’s movie a blonde pretty boy? I mean I hate them too but that’s just racist against blonde haired pretty boys.
Mar 13, 2008 · category: random
Posted by Captain Obvious
