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- This doesn’t change things
What up peeps? It’s been a while. I woke up this morning pissed that I had to work and had my mean face on and then the unexpected happened. I saw the funniest looking mofo I’ve ever seen. It was priceless. He was Asian about four foot eight had some high water sweats, a bicycle helmet and some big ass Kevin Duckworth goggles. You know how when you want to be somewhat respectful and wait until they pass you to laugh………..yeah didn’t happen. He looked at me with his goggles and bug eyes and I lost it. I was kind of worried he was going to kung fu me (is that a stereotype?) or outsmart me with his high test scores and SATS (is that one too?) but he just kept walking. I laughed for a good while at him while my coworkers looked at me like it was funny but that you’re a dick head kind of funny. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop laughing. You know when your someplace where you’re not supposed to laugh like church or maybe a funeral and something funny happens and you know every is pissed at you for it but you just can’t stop. So I remembered a story the other day when someone brought up how pissed off people get at the airport. One time I went to visit this chick in California and they lost my luggage which seems to happen a lot. I remember this guy who probably just came to the country being in charge of that area and I was really pissed because I didn’t have my stuff. He was pretty nice and kept apologizing to me about the mistake and I raged on him for like 45 minutes. I remember telling him I didn’t know what they did in his country but I just wanted my fucking luggage along with many other swear words and hang gestures. I’m pretty sure I’m one of the reasons other countries hate us and think we’re arrogant bastards. Look in the mirror ass hole I’m sure you’re a reason too. A cop pulled up on me tonight and asked me what I was doing out at 2:30 in the morning. I told him I was doing the same thing he was trying to make sure the city was safe. He didn’t laugh. Another reason I don’t like cops………..no sense of humor. I’ve got to work in a couple of hours so I’ve got to try to get some sleep. West west yo.
Apr 14, 2008 · category: f'n raging, rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- A quick one
Wish I hadn’t heard that a lot in my life. I want to start off with saying I was shown this kid walking out of IHOP when the four wrongs met up tonight. He had a huge pot leaf on his sweatshirt. Alright hippie. First of all I’m sure when you walk into a place with it on your Mom would be proud. Second I’m sure the people there think this is great you know he’s going to get a lot of food but after he leaves they get pissed because he didn’t leave a tip because he bought weed and food and didn’t have any more money. Third I’m sure that if a cop pulls you over he will be convinced that you smoke pot or know where to get some even if you deny it but you’re to stupid to think like that because your brain is fried. I wonder when you get really high if you try to roll up your sweatshirt and smoke it…………..doper. Also as I was driving home I see a car stopped with it’s hazards flashing and a cop just drove on by it. Was Dunkin Doughnuts getting low on chocolate eclairs? What are you for if you don’t help people? Please being at a bakery isn’t helping anyone because everyone knows you’re there and won’t try to rob the place. Right after that at a stoplight a female raced me when I didn’t know we were. You win lady. You have a bigger dick than me. Congrats on that. Insert chick having a bigger dick than me jokes here. I’m sure your boyfriend would like to know that but if you’re racing people you probably don’t have one. I heard a song by Xtina (I know it’s Christina Aguilara but I call her that because she seemed naughty when she went through that phase) on the way home called What a Girl Wants………yeah that’s great but what a guy wants is for you to not talk, get naked, do sexual things to him, and wants your money. That’s it. End of story. Sorry to burst your bubble. I also heard Carrie Underwood’s Before He Cheats. Whoever would cheat on you is a fucktard anyway. Captain will treat you right. I know you didn’t write the song and it’s not true but I’m just saying. West west yo.
Mar 21, 2008 · category: music, random
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Bad drivers…
Nothing bothers me quite like the dumb masses of people who simply do not know how to drive. I’m sure this topic will come up often on this site. I’ve got to start somewhere, I guess. I really really really really hate all the people out there who think they have to go 10 mph UNDER the speed limit when they see a police officer. I mean, what are they thinking? Do they think the cop is going to pull them over for going the speed limit, so they just have to go under it? This actually happened the other day on my way home from work. First of all, I was following a cop around a cloverleaf onto the highway, and he decides he is going to merge on going 55 mph, which is 10 mph under the limit. This is another pet peeve of mine which I’m sure I will discuss at a later time. Back to the point, I go around the cop, set my cruise control for 70, and proceed. The cop gets in the next lane, but stays close, actually passing me and then falling behind, over and over again. This also annoys me. For an officer of the law, he sure does not know how to drive properly. Anyway, as we proceed down the highway, any one we come within close proximity to does what I mentioned before: they immediately slam on their brakes and slow down to 60 or 55. WHY!?!?!?! I’m sure even the most DB cops have better things to do than pull over someone for going 5 over. This is obvious because I made it home ticketless. So why feel the need to go UNDER the speed limit? I guess all I can do is complain, although it will not get anything done.
Thank you. Good night, and good evening.
Mar 5, 2008 · category: Driving Woes
Posted by John Daniels
