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• Rastafarian blues

  I’m depressed because I found out I can’t be Rastafarian because I’m white. I can’t give you the exact definition because I don’t know it from memory and I don’t feel like looking it up. Basically it’s a religion for black people that is against how whitey oppresses the black man. I love some Bob Marley but what? Any religion that it’s okay to smoke weed in has to be the right thing though doesn’t it? I can pretty much grow dreads and smoke weed but because I’m the devil whitey I can’ t join your religion. Just a sad day for me. I’m sitting here watching ESPN First Take and they’re talking about Isiah Thomas. He’s been ruining I mean running the New York Knicks for the past couple of years. The team has sucked the last couple of years while he has coached and he got a sexual harasment case against him too.  There are two people discussing this issue. One is white and one is black. The white guy is basically saying he should be fired because all that is going on with the team being bad and the pending case against him. The black guy is bringing up race. Really? The fact that he’s black is why people want him fired. Not because the team sucks and he’s alleged talked dirty and did inappropiate things to a woman. I understand there is racism in this world. I really do. But everytime something happens if you pull the race card people are going to get tired of it. Then you know what happens. People call them racist. When will people learn race isn’t involved in everything? One more thing about race. February is black history month and I hear black people complaining because it’s the shortest month of the year. Ask yourself two questions. If we had a white history month would you be mad? Are you thinking right now that every month is white history month? That’s part of your problem. I was talking to my hippie friend the other day and he works at a house were there are people who can’t take care of themselves. They are retarded or mentally challenged if you will. There is a guy there who seriously has a 15 minute memory span. The people that stay at this place are allowed a certain amount of cigarettes a day if they smoke. I’m on the phone and I hear this conversation.

  Tard: Can I have my smoke break

  Hippie: You just had one 15 minutes ago

  Tard: No I didn’t 

  Hippie: (mocking): No I didn’t

  Tard: Give me my f’n smoke

  Hippie: I already gave you your smoke bitch. Damn man.

  Tard (yelling): kdfajlkfjslfjladsjflk

  Hippie: What the hell are you saying?

  Tard: walks out of room

  Hippie to me: That guy f’n pisses me off

  I love my hippie friend but getting in a fight with a guy that doesn’t have a clue is just wrong even though its kind of funny. It’s probably wrong that I told the story but I don’t feel like deleting it. West west yo.

  Mar 11, 2008 · category: rant
  
  Posted by Captain Obvious

• music, random, and a little irony

  Let me start this off with saying that if this is funny to you then it just means that I’m flippin hilarious. If it’s not it’s fever induced because I’m sick. Though this may be disputed by many people Hilary Clinton has an innie not an outie. If you don’t get it then I won’t even bother to explain. Brown Eyed Girl is an amazing song. Bob Marley shot the sheriff out of self defense. I shot the Deputy because  Bob says he didn’t and I was hanging out with him at the time and felt the need to bust a cap myself. I heard both those songs on the way home from IHOP. I believe in the right to bear arms. I don’t believe in hippies. I love Hidaway Pizza. I don’t like the creepy IHOP pancake chick on their mats. It makes me not want to drink the water I order everytime I go. Now let me tell you about the irony story. So there I was at work minding my business ignoring customers as much as I possible can and this guy rolls up in his wheelchair. He was all by himself and he asked me were the ankle braces were. I tried not to laugh out loud but it was hard. I guess you never know when you’ll twist your ankle that has no feeling in it. One more thing. On the way to IHOP I had a guy in a souped up toyota pull up next to me and rev his engine. I guess he wanted to race me. So the light turns green and he takes off as I’m sitting there thinking does this douche bag want to race me? So he “raced me” and apparantly won because I was wondering if he was serious or not. Congrats dude on winning. That means you must have a bigger man part than me. Insert penis jokes here. While your making jokes about my penis I insert it into your Mom. The end.

  Feb 29, 2008 · category: random
  
  Posted by Captain Obvious