Dive into the archives.
- Adam Sandler
Peep video clip here. West west yo.
May 28, 2008 · category: video
Posted by Captain Obvious
- If I didn’t have humor I would sit in a tower and shoot people
Good thing I have family and friends that make me laugh or you might die. I know that’s kind of harsh and may rub people the wrong way. You know what you can do………….rub your face into my penis….insert penis jokes here. I can’t explain my mood right now. I’m in an alright mood but i guess I’m just a bitter person. I work in a place where you have to deal with people and I don’t really like people. There are always those cool people who are understanding and nice but most of them are retarded and gay. A lot of foreign people come to America and get East Coast attitudes where they demand and think they run shit. I had a retard come in and ask me if a exercise bike was manual or electronic. I thought of a bunch of comments such as……..go back to your country fucktard, are you serious, what would be the point of that, are you special, or to just walk away. I said ummmmmm no. He then asked me what the plug in was for and I told him the display and walked off. Then a person with a heart of gold came and helped him because I would have been mean and made him cry or been fired. John Daniels delt with an idiot too but I’ll let him tell that story if he feels like it or ever writes another blog. Let me just say this guy walked around like he had a permanent concussion. He had that look that just says dddddddrrrrrrrrrrr loud and all the time. Charles Barkley is the next Anchor Man. Axl I want my free f’n Dr. Pepper. Add any other random thought here. Me without rage is like a porn flick without sex. I hope I don’t lose it ever. I know Bourbon won’t ever lose it. Neither will John and Tom. We’ve all been slacking on this site but I promise I’ll try to put more blogs up and not just links. I have to work tomorrow and it should be busy. Let’s all hope you are at the lake or doing stuff that doesn’t involve you being anywhere close to where I’m at. I’m sure you’re not a dumb ass idiot because your reading my blog but there might be a chance and I don’t want to deal with you if you are……..go have fun……..don’t bother me or ask me a dumb ass question. That’s all I got tonight. West west yo.
May 25, 2008 · category: random
Posted by Captain Obvious
- I present to you William Bailey.
Peep the first video with Tom Petty here doing Free Fallin. Do you know where the fuck you are………..peep next video here. William’s voice sounds horrible but this was an amazing moment. Check out Jimmy Fallon introducing this. This was the first William siting in a long while. This might be my favorite. Elton and William and Queen………fantastic. Look how excited the crowd gets when Willy comes out. Finally I’ll end it with this William and Queen number. Hope you enjoy as much as I do and if you don’t then you’re gay and should go listen to the Backstreet Boys and hump a plant. This is so bitchin. West west yo.
Apr 20, 2008 · category: music, video
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Not a hundred percent sure about this
But I think it’s close to the anniversary of Kurt Cobain killing himself. I’m too lazy to look it up so feel free to do so if you want. Some people may get offended by me saying killing himself but I’m seeing a lot of stuff about him lately and they say he passed away. Yeah he shot himself in the head. He killed himself. Don’t try to make it sound better than it is. Yet again I ended in a preposition. Get over it bitch. I was watching some Chris Rock stand-up and he was talking about the same thing with Tupac and Biggie people saying they got assassinated. He talked about how Martin Luther King Jr, JFK, Malcolm X got assassinated and goes on to say them n words (Tupac and Biggie) got shot. His words not mine. This reminds me of a movie I once saw called Grandma’s Boy where Jeffy is talking to an old lady about how much she’s seen because of her age. He goes ”You’ve seen a lot of stuff go down, the automobile, World War I, World War II, Tupac……..so funny. I don’t like drunk, loud obnoxious people. I don’t go to bars because of that reason. I’m sick of you coming to places I’m at and being dildo’s/douchebags. Hey…….here’s a fucking idea………don’t go anywhere because your drunk ass cause kill someone with your driving. Take a damn cab home. Drink your troubles away at home. Fuckheads (I had fucktards but I did spell check and this was an actual suggestion so I thought why not?). I’m tired. Axl I want my Dr. Pepper. West west yo.
Apr 2, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Huge shocker
I’m pissed off. Did you ever notice whenever there is a cleaning crew with some dudes in it they look like they just got out of prison. I’m sure they did with their teardrop tattoos and spiderwebs on their elbows. Greatest lyrics I’ve heard in a while are “Won’t you take me to Funkytown?” Where is funkytown? I want to go to just see what it’s like. I’m sure pimps and platform shoes. Watched Meet Joe Black tonight with my friend Bourbon. What a great movie. Never seen it but I love how Brad Pitt is so plain and honest and makes tons of awkward moments. Like after he has sex the chick tells him that it was like making love with a virgin and he says…….thank you. Hah how f’n random is that. I had a piece of paper with all this stuff I wanted to rage about but lost it. I’m watching highlights from pro and college basketball games. You know what I’m sick of seeing. People holding up their own jersey’s and when they yell (lip reading) Let’s go. Let’s go where bitch? Where are we going? I don’t get it. Still want my free Dr. Pepper Axl. Put the fucking album out for the love of the sweet tasting beverage. My hippie friend is quitting his job working with the retards. It’s good for them but damn I’ll miss the entertainment I get from it. Jose Canseco just shut up. We’re tired of hearing how you hate baseball because you cheated and now you narc out everyone or claim so and so did steroids or HGH. Hey another Viagra commercial……..fan-freaking-tastic. Really? Does anyone even know that the women’s NCAA Tournament is going on. I didn’t but just saw a highlight of some it. i nearly fell asleep. How many lesbians do you think are in college and pro basketball. I know that’s stereotyping but seriously. Hey Cubs fans. Be happy now before the Cubbies blow the season right after the All-Star break. It happens every year. I still don’t like hippies. I’m so old I pulled a muscle in my shoulder the other night taking off my jacket. Just saw a commercial for some porn on Dish on Demand. Thank you for the honesty. They say All hot girls and no plot. More later it’s lightning out and I need to turn off the computer. Put that in your pipe and smoke and west west yo.
Mar 31, 2008 · category: random
Posted by Captain Obvious
- So…….
I live in a decent sized city and almost offed three deer tonight. Thanks for running in front of my car. Good thing I have reflexes like a ninja or the Captain would have had some deer jerky. I’m all for people hunting……especially deer. PETA can suck my balls. Is there any better song about a hooker than Jane Says by Janes Addiction? I don’t think there is and for Jane if Sergio treats you like a rag doll then come to me because I’ll treat you well. I’ll keep you fed and you do tricks and because of those tricks I get all the money. It’s simple. I learned this from a pimp at IHOP one night. The guy had a purple suit and a white cadillac. Nice. I’m sitting here watching a movie called Navy SEALS with Charlie Sheen and there is a scene where they’re playing golf is some gay ass outfits. The worst part is Bon Jovi doing a cover of “The Boys are Back in Town” I love Bon Jovi but that was bad. I’ve heard Charlie Sheen used to be real bad into drugs are partying. Apparently he was so bad his friend Slash from Guns N Roses told him he needed help. That’s bad when he has to tell you that. Now there in the ocean in this movie and it makes me uncomfortable because I hate sharks. Granted I don’t live anywhere near an ocean but what are they good for? If you can give me a valid reason I’d like to hear it. Another fucking commercial about taking a pill that gives you a bigger dick. Can we stop these commercials. They just had a black dude on here. What you went from 12 to 14 inches? You like that stereotype don’t you. Yeah you need to deal with the fact that there are reasons for them and you can’t pick and choose which ones people can say. Axl I want my f’n Dr. Pepper. Even if the music sucks you should put the album out so we get something for waiting this long. West west yo.
Mar 28, 2008 · category: random
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Interesting
I read this article today about the new Guns N Roses. If they put out the long awaited album (I believe 13 or 14 yrs and 13 million dollars in making it) Chinese Democracy then Dr. Pepper will give everyone in America a free Dr. Pepper. I think the people there are safe but let me tell you something Axl. I want my free Dr. Pepper bitch. Peep the article here. Also at work today an 80 year old man was walking to the golf area with a walker looking to purchase a golf club set for himself……..what? Nice he most likely is a golf shark so if you see him at a course don’t fall for it. I’m sure he drives like Tiger, puts like Phil, and has the mid-range shots like Vijay. West west yo.
Mar 27, 2008 · category: music, random
Posted by Captain Obvious
