Four Wrongs Make a Wrong

Tom Collins — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 07:38:43 +0000

This might be the best video ever. I hate to exagerate. But seriously. Best. Video. Ever.

Peep it here (sorry to steal your line, Captain)

Tom Collins — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:21:45 +0000

I’m posting this because I’m pretty sure we don’t actually have any readers anymore, except for the four wrongs themselves, and maybe not even them. So, hell, who am I going to offend?

This little number is from Jesus Martinez (aka Drunken Stepfather). DO NOT go to his site. There is way too much stuff you don’t want to see. But I keep going back, because his blog entries are priceless. This is just one example:

I just made a new friend on the stoop of my apartment. He was this 20 year old dude who was just sitting there talking to himself. His conversation seemed pretty fucking intense as he was laughing loudly, and screaming, then whispering and crying, shit was like an emotional roller coaster and when I looked to see if he had his CIA blue tooth ear piece that junior executives everywhere are rockin in hopes of making their boring lives seemingly more interesting. I decided that dude was obviously talking to himself, so I figured I’d be a nice guy and strike up some conversation so he didn’t feel so alone. It was a mistake.

He went off on how he was involved in some kind of rape last night and that the woman was his friend’s girlfriend’s grandmother because he loved her fucking cookies so much. He figured if she knew how to bake so well, her pussy was probably prime and when she was passed out on her cancer meds in her room, he slipped in to slip it in her. He then started laughing hysterically and that’s when I decided to peace, because crazy people who talk about raping grandmother’s freak me out.

The truth is the only thing better than an old pussy, that can’t get pregnant because it dried up long ago, is young hot pussy on the pill, but I guess it’s a beggars can’t be choosers situation.

Here is Oscar winning Helen Mirren in her bikini, showing of the tits that made her famous and the good news is that she’s only 63 and not 80, like the big breasted senior citizen I once loved when working at the old folks home.

Wow. That’s all I can say

Movies that are better than the motion picture Dune

Captain Obvious — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 02:58:30 +0000

I hate the movie Dune. Here are some movies and other things better than it. Spy Kids one through four, From Justin to Kelly, You Got Served, Soccer Dog: The Movie, Kazaam, Gigli, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Phat Girls, Baby Geniuses, American Ninja V, 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, Son of the Mask, Glitter, Feel the Noise to name a few. Some things that are better than Dune that aren’t movies: Breaking a bone, getting kicked in the nuts, getting laid……..you catch that one? Of course it is dumb ass. Falling down three flights of stairs, getting stung by a wasp…….it’s worse because unlike bees they don’t die afterwards………thanks Tom for informing me of that. Walking in on your parents have sex, getting a paper cut, working in a nursing home. Thanks to my arch nemesis for suggesting this movie that wasted 4 hours of my life. Sting was in it and it didn’t even help. Toto did the music and didn’t help. I don’t think Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt could have helped. That’s all for now. West west yo.

Tom Collins — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 06:17:29 +0000

Found at esandberg.tumblr.com. Fantastic.

Tom Collins — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 06:07:19 +0000

This is a good canidate for WTF of the week. Seriously, WTF?

Always Wear Gloves from Scott Simpson on Vimeo.

Tom Collins — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 05:40:21 +0000

You’ve got to love the long take.

Tom Collins — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 05:35:10 +0000

I think Stephen Hawking is a dick. But he did say (at least) one thing intelligent:

“If time travel is real, where are all the time travelers?”

Seriously, this is a great question.

Tom Collins — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 05:26:14 +0000

If you haven’t seen Best In Show, you probably should.

Tom Collins — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 05:20:47 +0000

Any song with these lyrics, has got to be pretty amazing.

I can’t have sex with your personality
I can’t put my penis in your college degree
And I can’t shove my fist in your childhood dreams
So why you sharing all this information with me

Seriously, this video is fantastic.

(via esandberg)

Why is this shit so funny?

Captain Obvious — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 04:46:20 +0000

Check it out here. West west yo.

Bourbon Overby — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 22:36:47 +0000

To all of our Faithful followers. The “Four” are headed to see the “Phantom of the Opera” tonght. We will rave, review, and rage later about it!

And as always,

Thanks for playing!

Ah, Independence Day…what’s that?

Bourbon Overby — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 14:45:22 +0000

You know, just another vacation day for the rest of you unpatriotic bastards. Or for those of you on Capital Hill who look at the Constitution and say, “what an interesting looking document…maybe we should use it sometime.”

For those of you who are my Brothers (Tom, John, Captain) and for the True Americans…Happy Independence Day! Best wishes and God bless you all!

Let’s not forget our ancestors and their sacrifices (like fighting the largest country of their time G.B.) so that we may enjoy a simple, yet taken for granted little word: FREEDOM!

Thanks for playing!

obama created the fist bump

Tom Collins — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 08:29:13 +0000

God, I wish we had an audience bigger than 4. Because this amazes me. BuzzFeed is ACTUALLY, literally claiming that Obama created the fist bump, apparently. A picture was snapped of Bush “bumping fists” with some kid - And BuzzFeed’s reaction is “George W copies Obama and gives an ecstatic little boy a fist bump”.

Um… Am I crazy, or has the “fist bump” been around for a couple decades now? I was unaware that ol’ Obama created it. And, by the way, I’m sure Bush had never done it before Obama did a few weeks ago.

Hmm, interesting. Political bias, maybe?

hey black people……some not all

Captain Obvious — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 05:17:22 +0000

Way to jump on the band wagon once there is a black candidate. Why didn’t you care before? if this the first candidate that cared about you? How many black people just now registered because of this? That’s what I want to know. Shaq did a freestyle talking shit about Kobe. It’s pretty funny. I like how the day after the Celtics won the championship nobody knew because Tiger Woods won the U.S. Open on a torn ACL. Oh yeah he hurt it a year ago. Fuck you Boston. We care about one guy more than your whole stupid city. Let me also say this. Tiger………you can suck a cock. You’re the reason golf is so expensive now. i had fun hanging out with John, Tom, and Bourbon. They played some soccer and then shot some hoops with me. I’m tired of blogging. West west yo.

Tom Collins — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 06:30:38 +0000

Here is a delightful little video of Michael Ian Black reading the letters he wrote to the first girl he f-ed. (That’s fingered, not the other thing, the one you thought when you first read that).

Good times

Bourbon Overby — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:04:19 +0000

Just wanted to say that I had a great time with Tom, John, and Captain tonight. Its nice to get the Four back together again. Nothing like a little soccer on the old pitch to get the camaraderie going. Not to mention free food and a dip in the old pool. Good times my brothers. Let’s get together more often and talk about the “special people” in this world and the “good things” they do more often.

Thanks for Playing!

Remember that antiquated old thing called Abstinence?

Tom Collins — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 06:46:51 +0000

Well apparently it’s gone for good.

Some folks just insist on pissing in the gene pool. A group of high school girls in Massachusetts may have decided to make a “pregnancy pact,” because nothing goes with an eigth grade reading level quite like the responsibility of raising a human being:

“Some girls seemed more upset when they weren’t pregnant than when they were,” principal Joseph Sullivan told Time.com.The pregnancy rate at the 1,200-student school is four times higher than the previous year, and officials were shocked to learn that men in their 20s had fathered some of the babies, Time.com said.“We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy,” Sullivan told Time.com.

Enjoy the full story here. What the hell has this country come to?

On a side note, I just thought you might like to know that I beat ol’ Kottke to the punch on this story. I posted it last night, and then I was checking kottke this afternoon, and he just posted about it. I feel pretty special about that.

Tribute to stupid bitches

Captain Obvious — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 06:03:01 +0000

What up peeps? I’m pissed because of a stupid bitch screwed over one of my friends. She said to me she didn’t like this dude and went out a few times with my buddy then a day later starts dating “the guy she didn’t like” and he’s a douche bag. Dumb whore. This guy is a nice guy and didn’t deserve this type of treatment. Who hasn’t met a girl like this that plays with 15 different guys emotions at the same time and ends up with the biggest dumb ass she could. This girl better marry rich because she can’t do anything for herself. She’s worked at the store for a few months and still might be the most retarded person there. I hope some dude sticks it in her ass and then leaves. She also complained to the store manager a week or so ago that all the girls were mean to her. Fucking deal with it. People are going to be mean to your stupid ass all the time. It’s because you’re a fucktard that people don’t like you. She’s quitting and today is her last day. Good riddance ho. She also made the comment that this is the first time guys has showed interest in her so she was just confused and thought she would talk to several different people because it made her feel good. Hey dumb ass. I heard heroine makes you feel good so you should try it because you can. West west yo. Yeah I have anger issues.

Tom Collins — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 20:11:29 +0000

The most amazing bread-making video ever.

(via kottke)

yep

Captain Obvious — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:51:44 +0000

Just got the computer working again so that’s the only reason I haven’t written in a while. It’s not because I’m lazy and don’t feel like writing anymore at times. Got another ticket the other day by a big black woman that was a sheriff. I was going 48 in a 40 and the ticket is 185.50. Seriously? That’s why I hate cops. They have nothing better to do than pull someone over for 8 miles and charge 185.50. I’m sick and tired of this stuff happening. Just the man trying to keep me down. I’m out bitches. West west yo.

Bourbon Overby — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 04:22:05 +0000

N.Y. man dies after jumping from plane without a parachute

No Shit!

Tom Collins — Sat, 31 May 2008 07:46:35 +0000

No country for gay men.

Adam Sandler

Captain Obvious — Wed, 28 May 2008 19:18:04 +0000

Peep video clip here. West west yo.

Douchebags

Captain Obvious — Tue, 27 May 2008 06:34:06 +0000

Apparently some people didn’t listen and work was busy as fuck. Way to be idiots and come shop instead of enjoying your day off or relaxing at the lake or around the pool with family or doing what this day is about and honoring the soldiers. Let me tell you something. Even if you don’t like the President or what he stands for don’t be a hippie and support the troops. What the hell do you need a treadmill for on this day? It couldn’t wait? Maybe you have no family or friends and in that case you’re still a f’n loser and people hate you. Is your confidence shot yet?Let me tell you also then that the only person who likes you is well……….nobody you loser. I think we’re under a tornado watch right now. That kind of freaks me out. I’m not a big fan of natural disasters. Thanks to all the soldiers who fight for our freedom and those who died to keep it. West west yo.

If I didn’t have humor I would sit in a tower and shoot people

Captain Obvious — Mon, 26 May 2008 03:58:58 +0000

Good thing I have family and friends that make me laugh or you might die. I know that’s kind of harsh and may rub people the wrong way. You know what you can do………….rub your face into my penis….insert penis jokes here. I can’t explain my mood right now. I’m in an alright mood but i guess I’m just a bitter person. I work in a place where you have to deal with people and I don’t really like people. There are always those cool people who are understanding and nice but most of them are retarded and gay. A lot of foreign people come to America and get East Coast attitudes where they demand and think they run shit. I had a retard come in and ask me if a exercise bike was manual or electronic. I thought of a bunch of comments such as……..go back to your country fucktard, are you serious, what would be the point of that, are you special, or to just walk away. I said ummmmmm no. He then asked me what the plug in was for and I told him the display and walked off. Then a person with a heart of gold came and helped him because I would have been mean and made him cry or been fired. John Daniels delt with an idiot too but I’ll let him tell that story if he feels like it or ever writes another blog. Let me just say this guy walked around like he had a permanent concussion. He had that look that just says dddddddrrrrrrrrrrr loud and all the time. Charles Barkley is the next Anchor Man. Axl I want my free f’n Dr. Pepper. Add any other random thought here. Me without rage is like a porn flick without sex. I hope I don’t lose it ever. I know Bourbon won’t ever lose it. Neither will John and Tom. We’ve all been slacking on this site but I promise I’ll try to put more blogs up and not just links. I have to work tomorrow and it should be busy. Let’s all hope you are at the lake or doing stuff that doesn’t involve you being anywhere close to where I’m at. I’m sure you’re not a dumb ass idiot because your reading my blog but there might be a chance and I don’t want to deal with you if you are……..go have fun……..don’t bother me or ask me a dumb ass question. That’s all I got tonight. West west yo.

Some 80’s for that ass

Captain Obvious — Sun, 25 May 2008 05:38:13 +0000

Peep video here. It’s worth it. West west yo.

People

Captain Obvious — Sun, 18 May 2008 21:15:34 +0000

I know I’ve posted a few dumb ass post with a clip or link to something but now it’s time to f’n rage. I’m tired of people that will tell you everything that’s going on with them or wrong but won’t listen to you for shit. You tell them something and they go back to themselves. Go fuck yourself selfish bastards. Grow up or die or something. Next time you start bitching to me about something I’m going to cut you off and tell you what I think about your selfish ass. On a happier note hippies can all die. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to have sex with your Mom tonight and west west yo.

Really?

Captain Obvious — Sun, 18 May 2008 15:14:03 +0000

Another reason to hate dirty hippies. This might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. Peep it here. This requires reading. It’s not a video. But if you don’t like to read it’s ok because you can see what I’m talking about. I really don’t like hippies. West west yo.

Charles Barkley is the next Ron Burgundy

Captain Obvious — Sun, 18 May 2008 14:54:10 +0000

This is pretty funny. Peep it here. West west yo.

Rubberband Man

Captain Obvious — Sun, 18 May 2008 06:33:08 +0000

Fantastic. Peep it here. West west yo.

MYSPACE vs. FACEBOOK

Bourbon Overby — Thu, 15 May 2008 22:23:23 +0000

United States Map: Cost of Gasoline

Bourbon Overby — Thu, 15 May 2008 22:18:37 +0000

Here is a link to the cost of gasoline around the Nation. Its broke down by state and by county. Pretty amazing to see what the rest of the country is doing compared to where you are at.

MAP

Bourbon Overby — Thu, 15 May 2008 22:11:10 +0000

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?…

…my ass!

-Evil Betty-

Kung Pow

Wikipedia…loved, hated, but no longer ignored

Bourbon Overby — Mon, 12 May 2008 23:25:21 +0000

Thought I’d share this article about Wikipedia. I’ve been using this site for years now. At first Wikipedia had a bad taste to many professors and universities because of its open-sources and references. But after many years, it finally getting some positive attention.

Hope you enjoy the Article.

POLL: Do you like the United States?

Bourbon Overby — Sun, 11 May 2008 06:46:33 +0000

A little Tenacious D

Bourbon Overby — Sun, 11 May 2008 02:21:33 +0000

Some Tenacious D is definately needed on this site! Enjoy!

F-HER GENTLY (Favorite)

TRIBUTE

WONDERBOY

KISS FROM A ROSE: ON AMERICAN IDOL

No, this song wasn’t written for Transformers!

Bourbon Overby — Sun, 11 May 2008 01:34:07 +0000

To the generation who says: “Oh, this is the song off of transformers!” Shut the hell up!

Thanks for playing!

Hmmm…

Bourbon Overby — Sun, 11 May 2008 01:17:22 +0000

Definately needed on Bourbon’s car…so I’m told.

Ah the French

Bourbon Overby — Sun, 11 May 2008 01:12:59 +0000

You want to know why I like the French?

Too bad, I’m going to tell you anyway!

I like the French because as bad as it gets sometimes, I know that I will never be French!

It’s been a while

Captain Obvious — Fri, 09 May 2008 17:19:28 +0000

It’s not like I’ve been doing much but it’s become a chore to write at times. I just want to say I hate people in general. Not everyone but most people. Go ahead and think you’re in the 2 percent I like if it makes you feel better. I saw a sign on the side of the road the other day that said and I quote…..four handed massages. I’d like me some of that but it sounds so weird. After the four hands are on my cock there’s no place else to go so I’ll take one of those please. I just want to throw this out there but is there anyone that says motherfucker better than Samual L. Jackson. I don’t think so and I can’t wait to see him in the second Iron Man movie. You should go see the first one if you haven’t………….fantastic. Thought of another cartoon chick I want to boink. The pink hair chick from the E-Surance commercials. I also want to bring up that I hate guys that wear pink shirts, have tribal arm band tats, and wear big assed cubic zerconium earrings in their ears. Spend less time being a douche bag and read a book or something. Have you ever had jean wood? I get it all the time. I mean my package is massive and huge but I still get it. If you don’t know what it is then let me explain. It’s when you wear jeans that are a little big (no nut huggers) and your waist line goes underneath your belt and it looks like you are pitching a tent. Awesome. West west yo.

How to synchronize five metronomes

Tom Collins — Fri, 02 May 2008 11:26:17 +0000

I do not know why this works. But it does.

If hippies could read

Captain Obvious — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:40:53 +0000

They would be really bummed out about this gentleman’s death. Peep article here. Don’t feel too bad you still have the hippie lettuce. West west yo.

Daniel Son

Captain Obvious — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 04:56:11 +0000

Watching Karate Kid…………..fantastic. Couple of things I want to talk about. One is that I don’t think Chuck Norris could take Mr. Miyagi but nobody fucks with a lion or Bruce Lee. The special effects on this movie are freaking amazing (not really but who cares). Wesley Snipes is going to jail for tax evasion and he said it was because he was black. Hey I’ve got an idea maybe it’s because you didn’t pay your taxes. I’m just saying. I think HG TV and TLC should be banned from TV because it gives every woman in the world the idea that they can improve their house or yard and then end up having the men do all the work. Just because you watch the show doesn’t mean you’ll do a good job and your creative all of a sudden. There is a reason that they get paid money to do it because they can and they make you believe it’s easy and you can too when in reality you suck balls. Two cartoon chicks I would totally bang are Jessica Rabbit and Belle from Beauty and the Beast. West west yo.

So fresh and so clean, clean

Bourbon Overby — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 04:07:22 +0000

I bought new sheets and pillows today.

I don’t know what it is, but is there something about new sheets and pillows…or is it me?

Bourbon Overby — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 02:52:04 +0000

Let me just get something off my chest. Its not a RAINFOREST…its a JUNGLE you F-ing Liberals!

Thanks for playing.

The art of eye humping

Captain Obvious — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 07:49:56 +0000

We have a national pastime at work and it’s called eye humping. You may think you know what it is or think you know by what it’s called but you don’t. While most people take a casual glance at a beautiful women and maybe do a double take. With eye humping you look at them and imagine having dirty sex with them. See you didn’t know that. When I say dirty sex I don’t mean something gross………..I mean just rough sex with no strings attached. You can insert fuck or fucking instead of sex because that’s what it is. Weekends are the best time for this and with the weather getting warm and less clothes I’m sure there will be plenty of it to make us go blind……..in more than one way. If you don’t get that then you’re a douchebag or a different gender. I’m just trying to help my prostate. I want to talk about Bono for a minute or two. You’ve got Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson “doing” all these things for black people. When I saying “doing” I mean talking a lot without doing shit for black people. Bono is from Ireland and has done so much for Africa and AIDS. He has done more than the both of them combined. Al and Jesse…………quit talking and start doing. I can’t believe people look up to you and see you as role models. Get a fucking life and if you have a cause do something about it…….bitches. West west yo. I’ll write more another time but I’m tired.

Awesome line-up

Captain Obvious — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 08:28:25 +0000

I was listening to the radio and heard the best four songs in a row I can think of. Ain’t nobody gonna slow me down. Oh no……I got to keep on moving. Peep it here on Solid Gold. Gotta love the porn stache. Next song that came on is fan-freaking-tastic. Peep it here. The next song that came on is a good one by a dike. Peep it here. It ended with this song………..teeerrrrriiifffiiiicccc. Peep it here. What a great ending to a night with great music. West west yo.

Masturbation

Captain Obvious — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 07:56:45 +0000

Thought this was interesting and many of our readers including myself should read this. Peep it here. West west yo.

Tom Collins — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 11:40:55 +0000

The new trailer for Hellboy 2 is out. I’m pretty sure I drooled a bit. This ranks right up there with Harry Potter 6 on my must-see movies list.

David Beckham Rocks.

Tom Collins — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 10:12:18 +0000

I’m sorry if you don’t like soccer, but even if you don’t, you have to admit that David Beckham kicks ass.

My favorite: the legendary free kick against Spain in the 93rd minute.

If you haven’t see this video of Beckham’s first goal with the LA Galaxy last year, it proves that ol’ Becks still has it.

This is the absolutely beautiful goal from two weeks ago vs. San Jose.

And finally, if you don’t watch any other video I linked to, this is, I kid you not, the most amazing goal you’ll ever see - from the effing half-way line.

UPDATE: Just for the heck of it, here is a compilation of every free kick he’s taken.

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