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Let me just get something off my chest. Its not a RAINFOREST…its a JUNGLE you F-ing Liberals!
Thanks for playing.
Apr 27, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Bourbon Overby
- Music to my Veins
Just got done listening to some hard core rock! Love the way it makes me feel. I just want to RAGE! Get the old blood pumpin’ and brain thinking about how effed up this world really is and all the bitch as people in it. Need to give a shout out to Captain…what up my west, west yo brother. Keep the Rage coming! I hope we never get it all out. We’ve given that nice guy shit way too much time and effort. F-that, just let it out! People are so sensitive, and worry about every one’s damn bitch ass emotions too much. Hmmm let me check, yup, wasn’t sent here to care about how I make you feel or how you feel period! People act like they’re the ones who have the bad days and no one else, or that shit only happens to them. Do me a favor you F-stick…bend over and stick you head way between your legs, if it smells like shit then yes, you may be human after all you pussy! And to all you crying ass baby women…go ahead and keep on bitching. Hell, you bitch the week before your period, the week of, and the week after every month. That’s 36 weeks out of 52 for all you blondes! And I bet my ass you women will think of something to bitch about the other 14 weeks. Its in your nature to bitch. If I could find a girl and asked her, how much do you bitch on a scale from one to ten? If her reply was an eight, I would probably marry that girl! And you women wonder why you can’t keep a man! Hmmm, the word bitch comes to mind but I don’t know. And then there’s racism! Good old trusty racism. Ah how sweet the sound! Please, I’m not racist, just biased. If you think I’m mad because blacks get better government sympathy…yes. If you think I mad because if a black just screams racial profiling at work, you get fired…yes! If you think I mad at all the sad ass people who sympathize with these idiots…yes. If that makes me racist, then call me John Brown! So check it peep this, if you’re upset at this rant, or wish my death to come swiftly…don’t worry, I don’t feel bad at all and will sleep soundly tonight. I don’t give a shit how you feel or what you do. In the words of JT “cry me a river!” I hope this made you feel pissed because at least you felt something today you lazy ass, sympathetic uncle tom loving, jobless ass hippie!
Thanks for playing Bitch!
Bourbon
Apr 21, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Bourbon Overby
- This doesn’t change things
What up peeps? It’s been a while. I woke up this morning pissed that I had to work and had my mean face on and then the unexpected happened. I saw the funniest looking mofo I’ve ever seen. It was priceless. He was Asian about four foot eight had some high water sweats, a bicycle helmet and some big ass Kevin Duckworth goggles. You know how when you want to be somewhat respectful and wait until they pass you to laugh………..yeah didn’t happen. He looked at me with his goggles and bug eyes and I lost it. I was kind of worried he was going to kung fu me (is that a stereotype?) or outsmart me with his high test scores and SATS (is that one too?) but he just kept walking. I laughed for a good while at him while my coworkers looked at me like it was funny but that you’re a dick head kind of funny. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop laughing. You know when your someplace where you’re not supposed to laugh like church or maybe a funeral and something funny happens and you know every is pissed at you for it but you just can’t stop. So I remembered a story the other day when someone brought up how pissed off people get at the airport. One time I went to visit this chick in California and they lost my luggage which seems to happen a lot. I remember this guy who probably just came to the country being in charge of that area and I was really pissed because I didn’t have my stuff. He was pretty nice and kept apologizing to me about the mistake and I raged on him for like 45 minutes. I remember telling him I didn’t know what they did in his country but I just wanted my fucking luggage along with many other swear words and hang gestures. I’m pretty sure I’m one of the reasons other countries hate us and think we’re arrogant bastards. Look in the mirror ass hole I’m sure you’re a reason too. A cop pulled up on me tonight and asked me what I was doing out at 2:30 in the morning. I told him I was doing the same thing he was trying to make sure the city was safe. He didn’t laugh. Another reason I don’t like cops………..no sense of humor. I’ve got to work in a couple of hours so I’ve got to try to get some sleep. West west yo.
Apr 14, 2008 · category: f'n raging, rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- One in a Million
I was listening to that song “One in a Million” by Guns N Roses tonight and Axl Rose (I want my effin Dr. Pepper) uses the “n” word. I remember reading an article about how they only played that song once live. Me and my bro were talking about it and I said Slash was offended because he was half black. My brother said something that is so true. He says………I thought Slash was an Ewok. I actually thought he was too until I read the article. Good stuff. Slash is half white half black by the way. My question is if it offended Slash why didn’t he say something to Axl? Like “you racist bastard…….I’m offended” Oh wait I know why because everyone would have thought he was a vagina if he said that. He could have done the rock star thing and kicked his ass or slept with his girlfriend. I’m watching the NCAA men’s championship game and it’s a great game. I hate Kansas by the way because that’s all you hear about when you live there. But there is bad weather in the area and every time they take a break the weatherman comes on and he’s the biggest douchebag I’ve seen since Bill Walton earlier on TV. He says we’re all in hear yelling for Kansas to win or something gay like that every time. Shut the fuck up and tell me if I need to find shelter bitch. . I’m pretty sure Kansas is going to win because they have the momentum in overtime. They Jayhawks like it in the cornhole. West west yo.
Apr 7, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Raging against the machine
What up peeps? I got a speeding ticket at 2:30 in the morning the other day for going 38 in a 25. The ticket set me back about 130. Oh yeah it was in a construction zone so it was doubled. Yeah I’m pretty sure that there wasn’t anybody working on the road at 2:30 so I’m sure the man was just trying to keep me down. That’s why I don’t like the police. I understand I was speeding and I’m fine with paying that. I don’t think that it should have been doubled because of construction. You couldn’t give me a warning and tell me to slow down? Prick. In the words of N.W.A. “Fuck the Police”. I hate how people in position of power misuse it. I think this guy was………he seemed racist. Sticking it to whitey. So I was dropping a book off at the library and as I was driving off with my window down this old lady starts wagging her finger at me and yelling about having no respect…………..so I did the respectable thing and flipped her off. Stupid old bitty. West west yo.
Apr 7, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Being “Plan B”
Speaking of the Braves losing the season opener, it’s been a while since I’ve had a real rant on here. Actually it’s been a while since I’ve had anything on here. I’m working on that. So, I’m wondering if there is anyone else out there who knows what it feels like to be “Plan B,” or “C,” etc. Let me explain what I mean.
Let us say that I have a friend, and we both have the same night off from work, and I would really like to see this person. So, as is normal, let us say I call/text/email the person asking “What are you up to later tonight?” For this example, let us say the answer I get is “I dunno, I really don’t have anything planned.” So, of course, I would ask the person (in this case female) if she would like to do something, anything. Here is where it gets sucky. The response that really makes no sense to me goes like this: “Well, let me see what is going on first.”
Didn’t she just say she had no plans? So then why can’t MY plans be “what is going on first?” It’s like she is holding out for a better offer or something. Wow, am I that bad? So, I have now become “Plan B.” So does anyone know what I mean now?
It’s like being someone’s last resort. Whoever it is might as well say “Well, if I have absolutely nothing to do, I guess I’ll settle on hanging out with you.” There’s nothing like being someone’s final, desperate option. I’d rather be lied to than given the run-around.
Well, that’s it. Short and sweet, just like Captain’s rooster.
Thank you. Good night, and good evening.
Apr 2, 2008 · category: people, random, rant, stupid
Posted by John Daniels
- Freedom of Speech Anyone?
UPDATE: You can watch the movie here. For now.
The world ticks me off. I’m trying my hardest right now to stay objective, and not sound too rushed or bitter, but I’m not sure if that is possible.
Free speech is the subject that I’ve chosen for my first rant. Free speech, that wonderful freedom that only exists in the mind of some liberal congressman somewhere in another dimension. Sure, free speech sounds nice. It even looks nice on paper. But do we really have free speech? Is there really such a thing? No. The answer is no. Did you catch that? No? Well I’ll say it again, there is no such thing as free speech.
The problem with free speech, or the idea of free speech, is this: Free speech isn’t a universal freedom. No, what is ‘free’ speech, and what isn’t ‘free’ speech is decided for us by someone else. And, sadly, that ’someone else’ is usually influenced by the world. Perhaps you aren’t following me at this point. That’s okay, just stick with me a little while longer.
You may remember the Muhammad cartoons controversy from 2005. In case you don’t remember, there were a series of cartoons printed in a Danish newspaper depicting the prophet Muhammad, who according to the Islamic religion is never supposed to drawn, or sculpted or depicted at all. The cartoons were subsequently printed in several national newspapers. It spawned massive public outcry by the muslim world, and violent protests that included
"setting fire to the Danish Embassies in Syria, Lebanon and Iran, storming European buildings, and desecrating the Danish, Norwegian and German flags in Gaza City (source)."
The level of ridiculousness of that story is enormous. Burn buildings and riot in the streets because someone draws a picture of your prophet? Really? How many riots would take place and buildings and cars be blown up if the Christians did the same thing anytime somebody made fun of Jesus?
Perhaps it was the memory of that incident that sparked my bitterness when I read about a new film called Fitna. Fitna is an extremely controversial anti-islamic film that depicts the Koran as inciting violence and terrorism. Apparently the movie shows a selection of Suras from the Qur’an, interspersed with newspaper clippings and media clips to illustrate how the Koran and Islamic-based terrorism are related.
If you go to the film’s official website right now (or at least at the time this article was written) you will see a message from the hosting company saying that the site has been suspended while the hosting company is "investigating whether the site’s content is in violation of the Network Solutions Acceptable Use Policy."
Another website showing the film, LiveLeak.com, also had to shut down the site:
Saying that it was a "sad day for freedom of speech on the net but we have to place the safety and well being of our staff above all else," LiveLeak.com has shut down the Dutch website showing the anti-Koran film Fitna….
…LiveLeak said that after the 15-minute film began showing, it received threats that it believed "could directly lead to the harm of some of our staff."A sad day for freedom of speech is right. Whether or not you believe that the Koran incites violence, not allowing this film to be shown is not freedom of speech.
Right now, you can see a famous 1989 photograph by photographer Andres Serrano called ‘Piss Christ.’ A photograph, which was paid for by the taxpayer-funded National Endowment for the Arts, that depicts a small plastic crucifix submerged in a glass of artist’s urine. ‘Piss Christ’ was a winner of the Southeastern Center for Contemporary Art’s ‘Award in the Visual Arts’ competition. A competition that is supported, by the way, by the NEA, a United States Government agency.
Or, if that isn’t your cup of tea, you can go to youtube and watch a guy actually pee on a cross in a toilet.
That is the world we live in - one where it is okay to pee on the cross, but not okay to draw an image of Muhammad. Gosh, even mentioning the name Muhammad could probably get me killed. I guess if the Christians would start rioting in the streets and blowing up buildings they might get a little respect. Too bad they only believe in peace. Oh wait, doesn’t the Koran only promote peace? Maybe you should go watch Fitna to find out. Oh wait, you can’t. Because it was taken down.
The message I have received loud and clear is that freedom of speech is only for those who are politically correct. And if you are not politically correct, then you need not apply.
Update: A few links relating to the Fitna movie:
Pat Condell, an outspoken atheist, has a few words to say about the recent Fitna controversy. I rarely agree with Condell, and I don’t even agree with everything he says in this video. Being an atheist, some of what he says might be based on his anti-religion bias. But it still worth watching.
The Fitna website was hacked (before it was taken down by its hosting company.
Apr 2, 2008 · category: political, rant
Posted by Tom Collins
- Not a hundred percent sure about this
But I think it’s close to the anniversary of Kurt Cobain killing himself. I’m too lazy to look it up so feel free to do so if you want. Some people may get offended by me saying killing himself but I’m seeing a lot of stuff about him lately and they say he passed away. Yeah he shot himself in the head. He killed himself. Don’t try to make it sound better than it is. Yet again I ended in a preposition. Get over it bitch. I was watching some Chris Rock stand-up and he was talking about the same thing with Tupac and Biggie people saying they got assassinated. He talked about how Martin Luther King Jr, JFK, Malcolm X got assassinated and goes on to say them n words (Tupac and Biggie) got shot. His words not mine. This reminds me of a movie I once saw called Grandma’s Boy where Jeffy is talking to an old lady about how much she’s seen because of her age. He goes ”You’ve seen a lot of stuff go down, the automobile, World War I, World War II, Tupac……..so funny. I don’t like drunk, loud obnoxious people. I don’t go to bars because of that reason. I’m sick of you coming to places I’m at and being dildo’s/douchebags. Hey…….here’s a fucking idea………don’t go anywhere because your drunk ass cause kill someone with your driving. Take a damn cab home. Drink your troubles away at home. Fuckheads (I had fucktards but I did spell check and this was an actual suggestion so I thought why not?). I’m tired. Axl I want my Dr. Pepper. West west yo.
Apr 2, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Did you ever…………
Have one of those days where nothing goes right? I had one of those days yesterday. One of those times when as soon as you wake up you realize you don’t have coffee (or the kind you don’t really want) or drugs or whatever. You get your coffee made (that was the only kind you had which you don’t like very much) and you sit down to read the newspaper and spill it on your bare legs and the paper when it’s 200 degrees. So you burn your legs and can’t even read the articles. Example for drug addicts. You wake up and don’t have any stuff so you have to jack some shit then don’t get the price you want for it at the pawn shop and after you purchase the drugs you get pulled over and arrested without even getting high. Then you have to go to prison and live in fear of getting butt lovin and being someone’s bitch. Speaking of bitches I know Michael Jackson has made several boys his bitch allegedly but his older music is so good. I’m listening to Smooth Criminal. If you like that song then you need to also check out Alien Ant Farm’s version which is also good. More useless information for you if you didn’t know Eddie Van Halen is playing the guitar on Beat It. Insert sexual innuendo’s here. Who doesn’t when they hear someone talking about this song? I thought of several and even laughed when I’m the only one around. No you’re a douchebag and I’ll add hippie for those who are thinking that about me right now. I was informed that our program has spellcheck so I’ll do that for all those who get annoyed with spelling that is not correct. I won’t worry about proper English though. I was talking to a friend earlier about a part in the Adam Sandler movie Little Nicky which nobody seems to like but me. I’ll give you as brief of an account as I can. So Little Nicky (Adam Sandler) needs his friends to kill him so he can go back to hell to see his Dad who is the devil. So these two metal-heads say they want to do it and they grab his head and slam it hard against the counter. They ask the few people that are there is he dead and Adam Sandler says……No that just really fucking hurt. Classic. Underrated movie in my book. I miss Chris Farley. He was so funny but was really troubled. Why are some of the most talented people troubled? It doesn’t seem fair at times. You need to watch Grandma’s Boy if you haven’t. It’s such a funny movie but hardly anyone has seen it. I have a lot of references in my blogs so you might not get it. I’m acting like a ton of people read these but I can dream right? Hey dildo from the other night……did you change your watch yet? Bitch. West west yo.
Mar 18, 2008 · category: Celebrities, life, music, random, rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Word to your moms son
Guess who is back in the motherf’n house with a fat rant for your motherf’n mouth. Not the real lyrics but you get the idea. First thing I want to talk about is customers at the job I work at. Yes I ended that sentence with a preposition. First yesterday two dudes that were gay came in and bought a treadmill. Then tried fitting it in a Honda car. Yeah not so much. Then I told the guy he had to return the treadmill or come right back because we can’t hold it for them and he gets attitude with me and says…………I wouldn’t expect you to (pretty sure he’s the catcher in the relationship. Word up to John for that one.) and then I say hey you don’t have to give me f’n attitude and walked off like I had big man parts because I told a fag off. Yes I’m huge. Second we close at 7 p.m. on Sundays and there was a guy strolling with his kid up and down not concerned we were closed. I get fed up and tell him the registar is about to close. He says what in 40 minutes. I tell him no in 2. He says…….what time do you close? I tell him 7 and he says it’s 6:20 to where I tell him it’s 7:20 and he gets red faced and realizes he forgot to set his clock a flippin week ago. Were you late all week to work buddy? F’n loser. By the way thanks to John Daniels for letting me know that night to move my clock foward or I might have been late to work for a week. I’ve been trying to be calm and not get mad about stuff lately but I had to get some rage out tonight. So I’ll end it with fuck, damn, douche, ass, bastard and a west west yo.
Mar 18, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Random stuff
I think Madonna is from New York of America. How the fuck did she get a British accent? I’m not a huge musicals fan but Across the Universe is freaking fantastic. I had a pretty crazy day. Lots of ups and downs. Mostly downs but that’s life sometimes. I just say what can you do and move on with life. It can be hard but apparantly it happens. I’m so tired of viagra commercials. It’s fine if you can’t get it up anymore but don’t tell me about it. My roomate who is male watches the Disney Channel……….gay. Not cartoons but Hannah Montanna and all that kind of crap. What the hell is this world coming to? Ryan Seacrest might be the second biggest douche bad on TV besides Dr. Phil. Paula Abdul is nucking futs. Randy Jackson gets blacker every episode and calls everyone man………women, children, and grandma’s are not safe from it. I like Simon Cowell……….he likes to do drawrings. West west yo in German.
Mar 13, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Peep this
I love Bourbon’s Rad post. I’m watching it for the 9th time right now as I type. Send Me an Angel is such a rad song. Pun intended. Word up to George Bush for not being judemental and Tom for posting it. John I can’t wait for your next installment. I’m also watching the top songs of the 80’s. Welcome to the Jungle at 26? WTF? Should be higher up. Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray is absolutely hilarious on this show. Take on Me by Ah-Ha…………..nice. If you don’t like some stuff about the 80’s then you’re a dumb bastard. Bottom line. End of story. 15 times in a row on the RAD video. I really need to watch the movie again. Word up to Texas A&M checking out our site so much. Bourbon has always been a huge fan but I’m becoming one with all the love we’ve been shown. The Cure is one of my favorite bands ever. They were just on the countdown. I’m above the influence but I know a bunch of people who aren’t……………what? I just saw a commercial about a guy who was to high to do something. F’n hippie. I hate Dr. Phil. Is there a bigger douchebag than him. Let me to tell everyone I’m right and get a show. I can for sure do that. I’ll tell you how f’d up you are with no problem. How was everyone surprised when George Michael said he was gay? Did you not see the Wham video? West west yo. I’ll write more later.
Mar 13, 2008 · category: music, random, rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Yeah
Word up people. I have a few things to talk about today. I got my taxes done today and it was good. I get more money than I thought I would back. I saw one of the hottest girls I’ve ever seen (no I didn’t get her number or even try because I’m a total pussy) . A few things that bothered me about it. These are volunteers and you have to wait your turn. That’s fine it’s free and I get that. But to the lady that tried to bribe the lady who announced who would be next f off. Your ass should have gotten there earlier. I hate people that expect things to happen because of whatever reason. If you have the money to bribe then you should go to H & R Block ho. Word up to the lady that was like “uhhhh no” you have to wait like everyone else. Denied bitch. Second after the person was done with you they had a 90 year old guy (I think he had the first New York Knicks jacket ever made. It was awesome) check to see if they did it right. Talk about kind of scary. My roomate volunteers at this place and he said old guy was the smartest one there so I’m satisfied. I was driving home from the tax place and was about to turn into the next lane and some guy starts speeding up then whips into the lane I was just in because he was in a hurry. As he was driving by I decide to show him my middle finger because he was being a douche bag. He looks over at me and see’s me flipping him off and he laughs. I like people like this who don’t take themselves seriously and realize he was being kind of a dildo. Just saw a creepy Burger King commercial where this bed starts talking to this guy because he’s about to get some cheesy tator tots or something. Very disturbing. If you see it coming on turn the channel. Speaking of commercials I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t disapointed at the Super Bowl commercials. Step it up. If you’re a male and haven’t seen Tombstone then you’re gay, communist, or a fucktard. End of story. There’s no way around it. April 8 is when P.O.D.’s new album comes out. I can’t tell you how excited I am about it. Last thing I want to talk about is the blog Tom Collins put up about 50 best blogs or whatever. I hope one day fourwrongs is on there but this statement speaks directly towards me and I might be the downfall of that opportunity to happen. Here’s the quote about a blogger they like ”particularly since the blog’s voice is literate, sober and inquiring, unlike much of the red-faced ranting found elsewhere online” That’s pretty much the opposite of what I do except for the “red-faced ranting found elsewhere online” . Oh well. West west yo.
Mar 12, 2008 · category: Driving Woes, life, people, random, rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- A few thoughts
I was talking to my hippie friend again tonight and he got in an argument with a deaf guy at his job. How that works I don’t know at all. I heard the deaf guy going arrrrrrrr like a pirate over and over and he was yelling at him. I asked him if he knew that the deaf guy couldn’t hear him and he says “I know dude it just makes me feel better”. Funny guy that hippie is for sure. So the other day at work these life partners came in the store looking at treadmills. When I say life partners I mean lesbians. It was one of those things where there was no question about it. They were looking for a teadmill and they asked me if it would be okay for a dog to walk on it. I said sure. Come to find out they were buying a f’n $200 dollar treadmill for their dog. I was wondering and I’m a dog person but couldn’t you just buy a six dollar leash and exercise with the dog. I guess lesbians just think different. I mean I’m a lesbian but I don’t think that weird. I’d like to thank the IHOP the crew goes to for taking away the mats with the freaky pancake lady. I wonder if anyone from there read my post it took it down so I would order something. Had some biscuits and gravy. Watched American Idol tonight because they were doing songs that Lennon and McCartney wrote. They should all be shot. Those people suck. You had John and George rolling over in their graves and probably almost killed Paul and Ringo. Random thought about the Beatles. Thank God that Michael Jackson who owned or owns the rights to Beatles songs (he outbid Paul McCartney a while back) never tried to cover one of their songs. I’ve only heard a few good remakes of their songs. Come Together-Aerosmith, Elenor Rigby- Thrice, and the stuff from Across the Universe. Motley Crue never should have covered Helter Skelter though U2 did an excelent version. My goal is to own every Beatles album. Not the random ones with all their hits but original albums. I watched part of Gene Simmons show. He’s a total fucktard. Kiss has three good songs maybe four. Not that great. Get over yourself. West west yo.
Mar 12, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Rastafarian blues
I’m depressed because I found out I can’t be Rastafarian because I’m white. I can’t give you the exact definition because I don’t know it from memory and I don’t feel like looking it up. Basically it’s a religion for black people that is against how whitey oppresses the black man. I love some Bob Marley but what? Any religion that it’s okay to smoke weed in has to be the right thing though doesn’t it? I can pretty much grow dreads and smoke weed but because I’m the devil whitey I can’ t join your religion. Just a sad day for me. I’m sitting here watching ESPN First Take and they’re talking about Isiah Thomas. He’s been ruining I mean running the New York Knicks for the past couple of years. The team has sucked the last couple of years while he has coached and he got a sexual harasment case against him too. There are two people discussing this issue. One is white and one is black. The white guy is basically saying he should be fired because all that is going on with the team being bad and the pending case against him. The black guy is bringing up race. Really? The fact that he’s black is why people want him fired. Not because the team sucks and he’s alleged talked dirty and did inappropiate things to a woman. I understand there is racism in this world. I really do. But everytime something happens if you pull the race card people are going to get tired of it. Then you know what happens. People call them racist. When will people learn race isn’t involved in everything? One more thing about race. February is black history month and I hear black people complaining because it’s the shortest month of the year. Ask yourself two questions. If we had a white history month would you be mad? Are you thinking right now that every month is white history month? That’s part of your problem. I was talking to my hippie friend the other day and he works at a house were there are people who can’t take care of themselves. They are retarded or mentally challenged if you will. There is a guy there who seriously has a 15 minute memory span. The people that stay at this place are allowed a certain amount of cigarettes a day if they smoke. I’m on the phone and I hear this conversation.
Tard: Can I have my smoke break
Hippie: You just had one 15 minutes ago
Tard: No I didn’t
Hippie: (mocking): No I didn’t
Tard: Give me my f’n smoke
Hippie: I already gave you your smoke bitch. Damn man.
Tard (yelling): kdfajlkfjslfjladsjflk
Hippie: What the hell are you saying?
Tard: walks out of room
Hippie to me: That guy f’n pisses me off
I love my hippie friend but getting in a fight with a guy that doesn’t have a clue is just wrong even though its kind of funny. It’s probably wrong that I told the story but I don’t feel like deleting it. West west yo.
Mar 11, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- I’m pretty pissed off
I’m tired of racist black people. Black people always blame whitey for everything. It’s not my fault you’re too lazy to get a job. How about going and getting something instead of just expecting it. When you get in a powerful position don’t misuse your power. My boss totally does. He treats the black people better than anyone else. You’re the reason that black people have a bad name. I hope someone turns your ass in for the way you treat people. The thing is if you end of getting fired you’ll probably sue the company for being racist. You really just need your ass kicked. Also to all the peckerwoods who try to act black and talk ebonics with him doesn’t work. He still likes black people better than you but good try. You look and sound stupid though. Beverly Hills Cop is on right now and it’s a great movie. Didn’t Eddie Murphy impregnate one of the Spice Girls? Totally forgot about the movie. I’m also tired of people who think you owe them everything in the world just because their buying something from you. Hey two guys who bought stuff today. Why were you parked in the handicap zone? Not one of you bitches even had a limp. I wish a dude in a wheelchair rolled up and slashed your tires and then gave you the middle finger. The Boston Red Sox are the dumbest sports team ever. The fans are fags too with retarded accents. Hey Joe Gibbs stick to NASCAR. Good call on retiring from the Redskins. You haven’t been a good football coach for over two decades. West west yo.
Mar 9, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- I apologize for my previous post I re-read it and it was boring
Word up. So how come every Mexican I see has either some gold teeth or some of their teeth have gold around them. Is all they have in Mexico gold? Why are they such a poor country then? I’m not big fans of Indians right now because I have a gambling problem and they take all my money. It’s not my fault it’s totally theirs. What do you need my money for anyway……..to buy some more hooch? I hope my forty bucks you got tonight gets you a couple bottles of vodka. Why are people so paranoid at the Casino? I’m standing over my friends shoulder and this lady kept looking over her like I was about to rob her at any minute. Lady even if you were winning it couldn’t have been much because you were only up to 35 bucks at the time. If I was going to pull out a heater and rob someone it would have to be at least 45 dollars. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is such a good show. Hey George Lopez can we please hear a joke that doesn’t involve Mexican’s or your big ass head? Please. You stolen enough jokes in your career why stop now? I saw a dirty hippie today working at a food store. I guess I should be glad it wasn’t at the local head shop and he was wearing shoes but still a loser for being a hippie. A lot of guys who know my problem with hippies say “dude the chicks were all about free love” Yeah great I want to sleep with a dirty chick that sleeps with any hippie that wants to. No thanks. It’s three in the morning and I’m tired. West west yo.
Mar 8, 2008 · category: random, rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- It’s been a day or so
Word up. Captain here and I have a few things to talk about. First off I read an article on a Buffy the Vampire Slayer comic book that is going to have Buffy doing some lesbian stuff with her protege. They make it out to be some artistic breakthrough but what they’re really doing is getting the nerds who liked the show and comic books in general more of a reason to be perverts. Seriously these are the guys who looked up pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar Prince or whatever all day and got off on the show. I’m happy for you nerds. Some new material for you to get off on and when I say get off yes I mean whacking it. I really get annoyed with one-uppers. You know those people. The ones who have a better story than you no matter what. You can be like hey I bowled a 299 last night. Then they pipe in with that’s crazy because this one time I bowled a 300. They always have to have the best story. You can make up a new engine in a car that doesn’t even exist and they will say they read the same article about it. I’m sorry you need all the attention in the world. Why don’t you become emo and blame it on your parents not giving you enough hugs. I finally went to Hidaway Pizza with my roomates. It was everything I dreamed it of being. The only problem was the kids whose parents “can’t” control them. Take charge you’re supposed to be the ones running things. All this stuff started happening when everyone starting getting politically correct and stopped spanking their kids. Seriously if your kid gets emotionally f’d up cause you spanked them then they were bound to end up in theropy one day anyways. So you might as well take a belt to their butt every now and then. Thanks to the waitress that fell and made me laugh for five minutes. That totally made my night better than the pizza already made it. Took away from the bastard kids that wouldn’t keep quiet. Last thing I want to talk about is the is the American Idol guy David Hernandez who was a stripper for gay males before he was on the show. I don’t care what anyone says he’s a fag. Don’t give me that he was just trying to make it because he was going through a tough time. I would rather be broke, homeless and hungry than be a stripper for gay guys. That’s just how it goes. That whole experience thing people talk about you know “I was just in college experiementing in things but I’m not gay”. Dude I went to college and never did or thought of anything like that. You’re gay end of story. One more thing. They showed a highlight on Sportcenter of a streaker at a cricket or rugby game getting leveled by a player on the field. All I can say is fan-freaking=tastic hit. West west yo.
Mar 6, 2008 · category: random, rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
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So I saw a package of fancy sardines at the Warehouse Market tonight. That’s right, fancy sardines at the Warehouse Market… Isn’t that like saying, “Hey, I saw some real fancy trailer trash at the flea market today”? Fancy sardines my ass.
Bitch.
Mar 4, 2008 · category: random, rant
Posted by Tom Collins
- Peta vs. Colonel Sanders
More evidence that PETA is full of shit (via copyranter)
After watching the videos…which are mildly blackly humorous, and feature human chickens and a reincarnated evil Colonel Sanders—you’ll realize that PETA is full of shit. Because, A) they know by now that no major network will air commercials that bash their cash-cow, fast-food chain advertisers, and B) the animal rights org had no intention of spending the 3 mil per :30 media money in the first place.
Mar 3, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Tom Collins
- I have to vent some tonight
So I’m back in my chair making it sexy watching Sportscenter and they’re interviewing “the Zenmaster” Phil Jackson of the LA Lakers. You f’n hippie. Why don’t you retire from coaching and go hang out at the vending machines John Daniels wrote about. I bet you weren’t even wearing shoes. I had a good time after work with your Mom. Thank her for me. Hey DiCaprio quit trying to tell everyone to go green you tree hugger. The only way I would look at one of those cars that don’t use gas is if you bought it for me then I’d put it on ebay and sell it to some teeny bopper that wants your love juice. I need the money you don’t. I have to admit I like a lot of your movies though. What I do though is buy a ticket for another movie around the same time then go into yours so I don’t support your hemp sandle wearing ass. You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away by the Beatles is a great song. Plus the title sounds anti-hippie even though I’m sure it’s not. The Beatles are the best band ever and most influential………end of discussion…….don’t even bother trying to argue with me on that. If you do then you’re what I call a fucktard and should go live on a remote island and listen to your gay music. Emo kids. Almost as bad as hippies. Quit talking about how bad your life sucks and quit wearing girl pants. I’m really disappointed with newer music. Most of it is stupid. There may be a good song every now and then but where are the artists who last more than one song or album. I’m tired of music without any lyrical meaning besides what you have or how depressed you are because your Mom didn’t hug you enough. She’s been saving them for me I suppose. Another thing I have to get off my chest about music. One of my favorite bands of all time was the original Guns n Roses not this bs line-ups Axl has put together. What the Appetite for Destruction is wrong with you Axl? (Shout out to Bourbon). First of all you never should have annoyed all your bandmates where they quit or got fired. Second of all how long have we been waiting for Chinese Democracy? Get over yourself. You’re a talented mofo but I’ve lost all interest in even hearing it. Most people that have been waiting on that album forever and enjoy your music have turned to looking foward to the new Warrent album more because at least it will come out even though it will suck. Editor’s note…….I hate Warrent I’m just trying to prove my point to W. Axl Rose. He seems like the type of ego trippin bastard that would read anything that had his name in it. Do you think John Lennon was tripping on LSD when he wrote Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds? Do you think I was when I was writing this blog? The answer would be yes (you can’t not be on something and write those lyrics) and no. All I can say is thank God for Bono, the Edge, Larry, and Adam. They still put out good music. West, west yo I’m out.
Mar 3, 2008 · category: Celebrities, Humor, Romance, hippies, music, random, rant, sex
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Shout outs
First of all I have to give a big thanks to my roomate for getting me the Puff Plus with lotion to save my nose from being skinned beyond recognition. Second I’ll like to send a universal middle finger to the drunk guy that almost ran me over in his Escalade while I was walking to my car out of IHOP then giving me the stink eye and threw up his hands like I was the one drunk and had the nerve to almost walk into his ride. God forbid that I would ruin his expensive car. Who really cares whether or not you could have killed me/ broken something. I tell you who douche bag……..me. I hope you get pulled over tonight A Hole and get thrown into the drunk tank before “someone else tries to walk into your car”. I heard a few songs I want to comment about on the way home. I stopped at the store and Time After Time came on and I sat and listened to it before I went in with the window down. A lone guy was sitting outside smoking looking at me like any minute I was going to take off my shirt and start rubbing my nipples. Realize this buddy. You’re the one sucking a fag not me. A Prince song came on when I started on my way back home and it made me think about for being one of the most gay and feminine looking guys he’s pulled more Grade A snatch than I could ever dream about. I also want to bring up some driving issues I have. So there I was coming up to a stop light and a guy speeds past me and gets in front of me in the right lane and doesn’t turn right. There are three lanes here. There’s only one car in the left lane that goes straight. So he waste my time because he wanted to have a bigger man part than me and couldn’t get behind one f’n car. Maybe you should drive to IHOP and walk into the drunk guy’s Escalade. West, west yo I’m out.
Mar 2, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- People who are angry all the time
Have you ever seen those people or know those people who you just look at and think…….bitch but they walk around like their Mike Tyson in his prime when he used to beat the crap out of people in 29 seconds. I’m not saying I’m Billy the Badass but I just want to rock these people in the face to see if they are as advertised by themselves. They just look angry all the time. Why are you so angry? Are you tough just because you’re mad at the world? Get over it. Do something about it besides blame it on everything but yourself. Most of the time it’s those people who got their lunch money stolen by somebody but nobody really knows them where they’re at so they act tough to overcompensate for their lack of bulge in the pants. I’m angry at times but I’m not walking around like if someone looks at me I’m going to run over them with a car, shank them with a blade, or hit them with a Louisville Slugger. I understand people have bad days and I’m not talking about those people. They happen. I’m talking about people who are never happy. If you think this blog is insensative then you’re a hippie and you need to go hump a tree or whatever.
Mar 2, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- The Evil Known as “Bluetooth”
Hello all, this is John. Finally. Speaking of alcoholics, what is up with the recent surge of Bluetooth headsets?
I see the Bluetooth headset as one of a long list of inventions that has a wonderful purpose, yet most people tend to, and this is the only way I know how to put it, abuse it.
There are some practical uses.
I think it is great for making/answering calls while driving. Nowdays, it seems like more and more people have enough trouble driving as it is. The last thing they need is to have one hand on the wheel and one hand on the phone. This concept has even sparked an increase in Bluetooth-compatible CD decks. Now, since people will have twice as many hands on the wheel, they will drive twice as well…right? Am I correct? Seems logical. (But so does communism)
Another use that seems appropriate would be on certain jobsites, such as construction sites. Let’s say a person remodels houses and utilizes both hands 99% of the time. It would make sense to have a hands-free system that would allow him to talk while keeping both hands free to hammer that nail or drive that screw or handle that wood.
Now, let us discuss some less appropriate uses. I witnessed this first example recently, and it is in fact what prompted me to bring this issue up.
A person probably shouldn’t… DEFINITELY should NOT use his or her (in this case her) headset at the opera, or any performing art in general. This happened at the performance of Lakme I attended recently. A lady in the row in front of me pulled her headset out of her purse, placed it in her ear, and proceeded to check her voicemail.
This struck me as ridiculous for two reasons.
Number one, could she have not just put the phone to her ear? She actually exerted more effort in digging the small piece out of her purse and puting it in her ear, a little adjustment here, some positioning there, than she would have just pulling her phone out and holding down the “1″ button. Did she really need both hands free? I don’t think so, Tim. I mean, Tom. Et al.
Secondly, it makes you wonder what her thought process was before she got out of the car at the opera. “Ok, I’m going in to see an opera… do I have my Bluetooth headset? I might need to make a few calls while I am in there.” I bet she is the kind of person who backs into parking spots, “just because.”
The Bluetooth headset has quickly gone from a practical tool designed for convenience and, dare I say, safety, yet a few individuals have turned it into some sort of “status symbol” as if people will think “Wow that guy has a Bluetooth headset on. He MUST be important, or rich, or sophisticated, etc.” I’m not buying it. Nor am I buying one of those. At least, not until I am important, or rich, or sophisticated.
Other places not to use your Bluetooth headset: Church, Barne’s and Noble, or any other bookstore or library, Walmart, Starbucks, IHOP, movie theatre, court session, lastly, anywhere I have to see your dumb ass.
One more thing, for you Bluetooth headset abusers who might actually be reading this. You know that fancy blue light that flashes on and off on the side of your headset? You might not be able to see it, but the rest of us have to. I do not know how the others feel, but for me that flashing blue light means only one thing: it is the signal that you probably need a good ass-kicking.
Thank you. Good night, and good evening.
Feb 29, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by John Daniels
- People not of this country
I’m going to get right into the meat and potatoes of this rage/rant. I’m kind of tired of foreign people that come to America and can’t speak freaking English. We should have a law that in a certain amount of time if you can’t speak it well enough to understand then we get to ship your arse back to wherever you came from. Three words don’t count people. Hi, bye, and yes just doesn’t cut it. So there I was at work today and this Asian gentleman comes up to me and starts saying something to me in jibberish and I held up my hand and said “English”. For those who don’t know me I’m a cracker, white boy, peckerwood if you will. I don’t look like I’m from Japan, Mexico, or whatever other country. That was one of two people that did this to me today. First of all if you want to come to America and live the dream that’s fine. Learn to speak the language and I have no problem. Second don’t be so pushy and rude. Only people on the East Coast do that in America and they don’t count because they’re hippie lovers. You’re going to come to our country, not speak the language at all, and then get attitude when I don’t understand what you’re saying. Next time that happens I’ll give you the universal middle finger because everyone understands that. Third if you start speaking louder or yelling I still won’t understand you if it’s not English. This goes along the same kind of lines but a guy told me a story about an illegal immigrant who got in a wreck with a school bus and killed a couple of kids. On top of that she’s gotten pulled over before. Send her back to where she came from to kill people. We have enough of that as it is in America. Some of you might be thinking this is kind of harsh and unfair. Tell that to the family of the little kids that died you flippin hippies.
Feb 28, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- My response to “Violator: A Series on Abe Lincoln”
This a response to the previous entry. Read it here.
There are so many inconsistencies, half-truths and omissions in Judge Napolitano’s speech that I find it peculiar that you chose to use that as your introduction on the subject.
The first comment I will make is this: To judge Lincoln on what soldiers under his control may have done illegaly has no legitimacy. Do you know how many people were under his command? That is the same as saying that Abu Ghraib was Bushs’ fault. Bush wasn’t there, he didn’t over see or approve of what was going on. And in the same vein, it isn’t as if Lincoln was standing there in front of the soldiers as they were breaking the law and approving of what they did. Maybe he did approve, and maybe he didn’t, but you cannot make a blanket statement that Lincoln’s soldiers did wrong, so obviously Lincoln did wrong. That’s just poor logic.
Secondly, Lincoln’s suspension of Habeas Corpus:
To start, Habeas Corpus is not invoked in the Bill of Rights or Constitution. It is an assumed law. Therefore, it was not exactly unconstitutional for Lincoln to suspend it. This was a war, a massive civil war, if you remember. Lincoln was not walking down the street one day when he thought, hey, I think I’ll suspend Habeas Corpus. Lincoln did so in response to riots, local militia actions, and the threat that the border slave state of Maryland would secede from the Union, leaving the nation’s capital surrounded by hostile territory.
Judge Napolitano also failed to mention that Jefferson Davis, the President of the Confederate States also suspended Habeas Corpus, and not only that, he delcared martial law as well.
The Judge also, it would seem, forgot to mention that the United States Congress passed a law during WWII that suspended the writ of Habeas Corpus for unlawful combatants.Bourbon, I look forward to your series on Abe Lincoln, but try to include a video with more substance next time.
Update: In regards to PacMan’s comment that “If the President in Chief isn’t responsible for the actions of his soldiers…” I do agree that he must take responsibility in that all-encompasing way that a President does, but that doesn’t mean HE did it, nor did HE have any literal responsibility for it. It is ridiculous to assume that every time a soldier (or any government figure for that matter) goes out and does some dumb ass thing on his own that it’s the President’s fault. That is just ignorance.
Feb 28, 2008 · category: political, rant
Posted by Tom Collins
- Why the hell does every celebrity think their opinion matters?
Take, for example:
Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres made a surprise appearance by video uplink at a Hillary Clinton rally on Monday evening, energizing the young audience and tossing Clinton a few inside-the-beltway questions she might get on a Sunday morning talk show. Clinton took several questions from DeGeneres, who led off by jokingly asking Clinton if she would consider banning glitter. Then the comedian put on a straight face and turned to the presidential horserace.“As we all know,” Degeneres noted, “Obama has now won 11 states in a row. What needs to happen to change the momentum?”
Don’t misunderstand me, I like Ellen. I like her when she’s dancing around on her talk show, because it’s funny. But what does being famous have to do with wisdom? Why should we take the opinion of celebrities just because they’re famous?I mean, first it’s Oprah with Obama. Now it’s Ellen with Clinton. What’s next, Martha Stewart for Romney?Oh well. You can read the rest of the article here, if you so desire.
Feb 27, 2008 · category: political, rant
Posted by Tom Collins
