Dive into the archives.


  • I’m posting this because I’m pretty sure we don’t actually have any readers anymore, except for the four wrongs themselves, and maybe not even them. So, hell, who am I going to offend?

    This little number is from Jesus Martinez (aka Drunken Stepfather). DO NOT go to his site. There is way too much stuff you don’t want to see. But I keep going back, because his blog entries are priceless. This is just one example:

    I just made a new friend on the stoop of my apartment. He was this 20 year old dude who was just sitting there talking to himself. His conversation seemed pretty fucking intense as he was laughing loudly, and screaming, then whispering and crying, shit was like an emotional roller coaster and when I looked to see if he had his CIA blue tooth ear piece that junior executives everywhere are rockin in hopes of making their boring lives seemingly more interesting. I decided that dude was obviously talking to himself, so I figured I’d be a nice guy and strike up some conversation so he didn’t feel so alone. It was a mistake.

    He went off on how he was involved in some kind of rape last night and that the woman was his friend’s girlfriend’s grandmother because he loved her fucking cookies so much. He figured if she knew how to bake so well, her pussy was probably prime and when she was passed out on her cancer meds in her room, he slipped in to slip it in her. He then started laughing hysterically and that’s when I decided to peace, because crazy people who talk about raping grandmother’s freak me out.

    The truth is the only thing better than an old pussy, that can’t get pregnant because it dried up long ago, is young hot pussy on the pill, but I guess it’s a beggars can’t be choosers situation.

    Here is Oscar winning Helen Mirren in her bikini, showing of the tits that made her famous and the good news is that she’s only 63 and not 80, like the big breasted senior citizen I once loved when working at the old folks home.

    Wow. That’s all I can say

    imageJul 17, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Tom Collins

  • I think Stephen Hawking is a dick. But he did say (at least) one thing intelligent:

    “If time travel is real, where are all the time travelers?”

    Seriously, this is a great question.

    imageJul 15, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Tom Collins

  • To all of our Faithful followers. The “Four” are headed to see the “Phantom of the Opera” tonght. We will rave, review, and rage later about it!

    And as always,

    Thanks for playing!

    imageJul 10, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Bourbon Overby

  • Good times

    Just wanted to say that I had a great time with Tom, John, and Captain tonight. Its nice to get the Four back together again. Nothing like a little soccer on the old pitch to get the camaraderie going. Not to mention free food and a dip in the old pool. Good times my brothers. Let’s get together more often and talk about the “special people” in this world and the “good things” they do more often.

    Thanks for Playing!

    imageJun 22, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Bourbon Overby

  • yep

    Just got the computer working again so that’s the only reason I haven’t written in a while. It’s not because I’m lazy and don’t feel like writing anymore at times. Got another ticket the other day by a big black woman that was a sheriff. I was going 48 in a 40 and the ticket is 185.50. Seriously? That’s why I hate cops. They have nothing better to do than pull someone over for 8 miles and charge 185.50. I’m sick and tired of this stuff happening. Just the man trying to keep me down. I’m out bitches. West west yo.

    imageJun 12, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • Douchebags

    Apparently some people didn’t listen and work was busy as fuck. Way to be idiots and come shop instead of enjoying your day off or relaxing at the lake or around the pool with family or doing what this day is about and honoring the soldiers. Let me tell you something. Even if you don’t like the President or what he stands for don’t be a hippie and support the troops. What the hell do you need a treadmill for on this day? It couldn’t wait? Maybe you have no family or friends and in that case you’re still a f’n loser and people hate you. Is your confidence shot yet?Let me tell you also then that the only person who likes you is well……….nobody you loser. I think we’re under a tornado watch right now. That kind of freaks me out. I’m not a big fan of natural disasters. Thanks to all the soldiers who fight for our freedom and those who died to keep it. West west yo.

    imageMay 27, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • If I didn’t have humor I would sit in a tower and shoot people

    Good thing I have family and friends that make me laugh or you might die. I know that’s kind of harsh and may rub people the wrong way. You know what you can do………….rub your face into my penis….insert penis jokes here. I can’t explain my mood right now. I’m in an alright mood but i guess I’m just a bitter person. I work in a place where you have to deal with people and I don’t really like people. There are always those cool people who are understanding and nice but most of them are retarded and gay. A lot of foreign people come to America and get East Coast attitudes where they demand and think they run shit. I had a retard come in and ask me if a exercise bike was manual or electronic. I thought of a bunch of comments such as……..go back to your country fucktard, are you serious, what would be the point of that, are you special, or to just walk away. I said ummmmmm no. He then asked me what the plug in was for and I told him the display and walked off. Then a person with a heart of gold came and helped him because I would have been mean and made him cry or been fired. John Daniels delt with an idiot too but I’ll let him tell that story if he feels like it or ever writes another blog. Let me just say this guy walked around like he had a permanent concussion. He had that look that just says dddddddrrrrrrrrrrr loud and all the time. Charles Barkley is the next Anchor Man. Axl I want my free f’n Dr. Pepper. Add any other random thought here. Me without rage is like a porn flick without sex. I hope I don’t lose it ever. I know Bourbon won’t ever lose it. Neither will John and Tom. We’ve all been slacking on this site but I promise I’ll try to put more blogs up and not just links. I have to work tomorrow and it should be busy. Let’s all hope you are at the lake or doing stuff that doesn’t involve you being anywhere close to where I’m at. I’m sure you’re not a dumb ass idiot because your reading my blog but there might be a chance and I don’t want to deal with you if you are……..go have fun……..don’t bother me or ask me a dumb ass question. That’s all I got tonight. West west yo.

    imageMay 25, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • Really?

    Another reason to hate dirty hippies. This might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. Peep it here. This requires reading. It’s not a video. But if you don’t like to read it’s ok because you can see what I’m talking about. I really don’t like hippies. West west yo.

    imageMay 18, 2008 · category: Articles, random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • Ah the French

    You want to know why I like the French?

    Too bad, I’m going to tell you anyway!

    I like the French because as bad as it gets sometimes, I know that I will never be French!

    imageMay 10, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Bourbon Overby

  • It’s been a while

    It’s not like I’ve been doing much but it’s become a chore to write at times. I just want to say I hate people in general. Not everyone but most people. Go ahead and think you’re in the 2 percent I like if it makes you feel better. I saw a sign on the side of the road the other day that said and I quote…..four handed massages. I’d like me some of that but it sounds so weird. After the four hands are on my cock there’s no place else to go so I’ll take one of those please. I just want to throw this out there but is there anyone that says motherfucker better than Samual L. Jackson. I don’t think so and I can’t wait to see him in the second Iron Man movie. You should go see the first one if you haven’t………….fantastic. Thought of another cartoon chick I want to boink. The pink hair chick from the E-Surance commercials. I also want to bring up that I hate guys that wear pink shirts, have tribal arm band tats, and wear big assed cubic zerconium earrings in their ears. Spend less time being a douche bag and read a book or something. Have you ever had jean wood? I get it all the time. I mean my package is massive and huge but I still get it. If you don’t know what it is then let me explain. It’s when you wear jeans that are a little big (no nut huggers) and your waist line goes underneath your belt and it looks like you are pitching a tent. Awesome. West west yo.

    imageMay 9, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • Daniel Son

    Watching Karate Kid…………..fantastic. Couple of things I want to talk about. One is that I don’t think Chuck Norris could take Mr. Miyagi but nobody fucks with a lion or Bruce Lee. The special effects on this movie are freaking amazing (not really but who cares). Wesley Snipes is going to jail for tax evasion and he said it was because he was black. Hey I’ve got an idea maybe it’s because you didn’t pay your taxes. I’m just saying. I think HG TV and TLC should be banned from TV because it gives every woman in the world the idea that they can improve their house or yard and then end up having the men do all the work. Just because you watch the show doesn’t mean you’ll do a good job and your creative all of a sudden. There is a reason that they get paid money to do it because they can and they make you believe it’s easy and you can too when in reality you suck balls. Two cartoon chicks I would totally bang are Jessica Rabbit and Belle from Beauty and the Beast. West west yo.

    imageApr 29, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • The art of eye humping

    We have a national pastime at work and it’s called eye humping. You may think you know what it is or think you know by what it’s called but you don’t. While most people take a casual glance at a beautiful women and maybe do a double take. With eye humping you look at them and imagine having dirty sex with them. See you didn’t know that. When I say dirty sex I don’t mean something gross………..I mean just rough sex with no strings attached. You can insert fuck or fucking instead of sex because that’s what it is. Weekends are the best time for this and with the weather getting warm and less clothes I’m sure there will be plenty of it to make us go blind……..in more than one way. If you don’t get that then you’re a douchebag or a different gender. I’m just trying to help my prostate. I want to talk about Bono for a minute or two. You’ve got Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson “doing” all these things for black people. When I saying “doing” I mean talking a lot without doing shit for black people. Bono is from Ireland and has done so much for Africa and AIDS. He has done more than the both of them combined. Al and Jesse…………quit talking and start doing. I can’t believe people look up to you and see you as role models. Get a fucking life and if you have a cause do something about it…….bitches. West west yo. I’ll write more another time but I’m tired.

    imageApr 27, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • Just made it home from work today. My day started at 5:45am and I just now walked in (6:07pm). So, my question for all of you viewers, friends, and the other wrongs on here is…

    …is it me, or do I work too much?

    imageApr 21, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Bourbon Overby

  • Bad Leroy Brown

    The baddest man in the the whole damn town. Meaner than a junkyard dawg, bigger than old King Kong. Nice. Heard it tonight and I want to be Leroy Brown’s friend. A couple of things tonight. It was awesome the other day at work when Jean Claude Van Douche (all 6 ft 2 in of him with ponytail) was doing a full working out on the heavy bags. I walk by and he goes “where’s the Thai gloves”. In Thailand dumb ass. Really do you think that you’re a bad ass looking like him? Fucking crazy. I’ve also had issues at work with this old guy who is stubborn and gay as far as I’m concerned. He comes in one day asking about basketball goals and I explain what he needs to know. He ask if a portable goal has a drain and I tell him where it is and he insist there is another one. So I ask the team leader and he tells me the same thing I tell him. Then he ask me to get on the rack and check and I tell him no. Then he ask if he can i tell him no. The next day he calls and ask some more questions to which I tell him the same thing. A few days later I’m walking by the basketballs and he’s on the f’n rack. I yelled at him to get the hell off and he jumps down and tells me there is a drain. I said great now you know. He starts talking shit about how he told me there had to be one and I tell him I’m happy for him. So he wants the goal and we’re out and won’t be getting anymore in for a while. So hopefully I won’t have to deal with his 80 year old douchebag ass anymore. I really can say I hate that guy and wish he would have fallen off the rack and all the goals fell on him. What’s that? That’s mean. Fuck him. Have you ever felt alone and even when you’re around people and they try to include you it still feels like that? Nothing you do seems to help and it’s hard to deal with. Get help you depressed bastard or jump off a bridge. I’m kidding………kind of. I’ll have more stories later but I got a movie to watch and you’re distracting me. West west yo.

    P.S. Hippies are stupid and have sex with trees.

    imageApr 18, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • I haven’t eaten at Dominos in forever, because I remember it sucking, but they were having their $5 large 1-topping deal, so I decided to stop in and grab a pizza (Verdict: it was as bad as I remember it).

    Anyhow, the total price was $5.42. I hand the lady at the counter a twenty dollar bill. And what does she do? She grabs a calculator. An effing calculator. Quick, do the math in your head. How long did it take you? 2 seconds tops, right? And yet she had to use a calculator. Have schools failed us? Yes. Yes they have.

    imageApr 8, 2008 · category: WTF, random

    Posted by Tom Collins

  • No dumbells in here just my balls

    There aren’t too many things that are better in life than an Orange Fanta when you’re thirsty. To all those bad drivers out there I want you to quit giving yourself roadhand while you’re driving. You’re going to kill someone. Prince since a song called When Doves Cry. I love the song but I have a few things to say about it. One part says maybe I’m like my mother never satisfied. I took care of that Prince and your Mom is very satisfied. That’s right I just dropped a mom joke on the symbol formerly known as Prince who went back to Prince. Also what exactly do doves sound like when they cry? I don’t get it. I was talking with the other four wrongs tonight and got to talking about if I won a billion dollars what would I do. Really I was just talking and they thought I was dumb but anyway I would have a huge concert and have all my favorite bands play for example, Led Zepplin, Guns N Roses, Willie Nelson, etc……. I’ll tell you what I would smoke a joint with Willie just to say I have. I’m sure there are a  lot of pot heads who have but how cool would that be? Someone I would not smoke weed with is the football player Ricky Williams. I had a friend in college who gave himself a nickname. Let me tell you something…………if you do that you’re not a winner. End of story. I really don’t like Ebonics. Not a language people. Did someone wake up one day and say I’m going to create my own language that pisses people off all around the world and think it’s cool. Fucktards. Heard a story today about Taco Bell running out of rice. How the fuck do you run out of rice? Rice is probably one of the foods that we have the most of and should never run out. I also heard they were out of hot sauce one time. Really what the hell is Taco Bell good for then………..burritos? Off the top of my head some of the best songs about drugs…….Guns N Roses-Mr Brownstone, Eric Clapton-Cocaine, and the Beatles-Helter Skelter. Feel free to share others and if you don’t your stupid and if I don’t think there good I’ll probably call you a hippie. Now you can’t say songs that were influenced by drugs because that’s almost every song since the 60’s. One Night in Bangkok by Murray Head is a great song, dumb lyrics, and funny video. Peep here. I love the lyrics “I get my kicks from above my waistline, sunshine.” Yeah I don’t. I like below the waistline myself. Put that in your pipe and smoke it (especially if you’re with Willie Nelson) and west west yo.

    imageApr 6, 2008 · category: music, random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • F’n one of those days

    I wake up this morning and fell down a flight of stairs. Fan-freakin-tastic. Then went to work and continued to have little things that go wrong that are annoying. I also let down a few people that I really care about today and that sucked. Then I broke the law twice. My roommate wanted to take (I mean borrow without bringing back) some rocks from a lot that she said was a dump for landscaping and we had to back into the lot for a quick get a way. Then I took the wrong roads twice on the way home and didn’t have enough change for the toll so I ran through it. So I might have to get some bail money from one of our readers when I go to the pen. Click on the ads on the side of the page to help pay my bail money. I can’t write from jail people. Not a big fan of people right now. You suck. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it (maybe I’ll see you in jail if you do) and west west yo.

    imageApr 4, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • Being “Plan B”

    Speaking of the Braves losing the season opener, it’s been a while since I’ve had a real rant on here.  Actually it’s been a while since I’ve had anything on here.  I’m working on that.  So, I’m wondering if there is anyone else out there who knows what it feels like to be “Plan B,” or “C,” etc.  Let me explain what I mean.

    Let us say that I have a friend, and we both have the same night off from work, and I would really like to see this person.  So, as is normal, let us say I call/text/email the person asking “What are you up to later tonight?”  For this example, let us say the answer I get is “I dunno, I really don’t have anything planned.”  So, of course, I would ask the person (in this case female) if she would like to do something, anything.  Here is where it gets sucky.  The response that really makes no sense to me goes like this:  “Well, let me see what is going on first.” 

    Didn’t she just say she had no plans?  So then why can’t MY plans be “what is going on first?”  It’s like she is holding out for a better offer or something.  Wow, am I that bad?  So, I have now become “Plan B.”  So does anyone know what I mean now?

    It’s like being someone’s last resort.  Whoever it is might as well say “Well, if I have absolutely nothing to do, I guess I’ll settle on hanging out with you.”  There’s nothing like being someone’s final, desperate option.  I’d rather be lied to than given the run-around.

    Well, that’s it.  Short and sweet, just like Captain’s rooster.

     Thank you.  Good night, and good evening.

    imageApr 2, 2008 · category: people, random, rant, stupid

    Posted by John Daniels

  • See you on the flipside

    Watched Boondock Saints last night. Fan-freakin-tastic. I love that movie. There are so many funny parts. I love when you’re at work and you have the shirt with the name badge on and someone ask if you work here. No I just come in dressed like them because it’s so fashionable. I’m sitting here watching the movie Casino right now. Great movie but who else can be 4 ft 2 and pull off being a badass  and make it believable besides Joe Pesci? Who? Nobody that’s who. Plus he’s in some other great movies like My Cousin Vinny, Goodfellas, and more.  Scott Weiland left Velvet Revolver today saying he couldn’t get along with the other band members. Wow another band breaks up because of egos. It appears the former members of Guns N Roses can’t find a lead singer that doesn’t think the world revolves around them. So the other day I was getting some protective cups out of a box to put on a peg and this little kid walks up to me with a goofy grin on his face that I was about to give him some candy. It was so f’n funny. Sorry kid all I had were jockstraps and cups. Not as good as skittles. But helps your frank and beans out. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. West west yo.

    imageApr 1, 2008 · category: Humor, random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • Huge shocker

    I’m pissed off. Did you ever notice whenever there is a cleaning crew with some dudes in it they look like they just got out of prison. I’m sure they did with their teardrop tattoos and spiderwebs on their elbows. Greatest lyrics I’ve heard in a while are “Won’t you take me to Funkytown?” Where is funkytown? I want to go to just see what it’s like. I’m sure pimps and platform shoes. Watched Meet Joe Black tonight with my friend Bourbon. What a great movie. Never seen it but I love how Brad Pitt is so plain and honest and makes tons of awkward moments. Like after he has sex the chick tells him that it was like making love with a virgin and he says…….thank you. Hah how f’n random is that. I had a piece of paper with all this stuff I wanted to rage about but lost it. I’m watching highlights from pro and college basketball games. You know what I’m sick of seeing. People holding up their own jersey’s and when they yell (lip reading) Let’s go. Let’s go where bitch? Where are we going? I don’t get it. Still want my free Dr. Pepper Axl. Put the fucking album out for the love of the sweet tasting beverage. My hippie friend is quitting his job working with the retards. It’s good for them but damn I’ll miss the entertainment I get from it.  Jose Canseco just shut up. We’re tired of hearing how you hate baseball because you cheated and now you narc out everyone or claim so and so did steroids or HGH. Hey another Viagra commercial……..fan-freaking-tastic. Really? Does anyone even know that the women’s NCAA Tournament is going on. I didn’t but just saw a highlight of some it. i nearly fell asleep.  How many lesbians do you think are in college and pro basketball. I know that’s stereotyping but seriously. Hey Cubs fans. Be happy now before the Cubbies blow the season right after the All-Star break. It happens every year. I still don’t like hippies. I’m so old I pulled a muscle in my shoulder the other night taking off my jacket.  Just saw a commercial for some porn on Dish on Demand. Thank you for the honesty. They say All hot girls and no plot. More later it’s lightning out and I need to turn off the computer. Put that in your pipe and smoke and west west yo.

    imageMar 31, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • So…….

    I live in a decent sized city and almost offed three deer tonight. Thanks for running in front of my car. Good thing I have reflexes like a ninja or the Captain would have had some deer jerky. I’m all for people hunting……especially deer. PETA can suck my balls. Is there any better song about a hooker than Jane Says by Janes Addiction? I don’t think there is and for Jane if Sergio treats you like a rag doll then come to me because I’ll treat you well. I’ll keep you fed and you do tricks and because of those tricks I get all the money. It’s simple. I learned this from a pimp at IHOP one night. The guy had a purple suit and a white cadillac. Nice. I’m sitting here watching a movie called Navy SEALS with Charlie Sheen and there is a scene where they’re playing golf is some gay ass outfits. The worst part is Bon Jovi doing a cover of “The Boys are Back in Town” I love Bon Jovi but that was bad.  I’ve heard Charlie Sheen used to be real bad into drugs are partying. Apparently he was so bad his friend Slash from Guns N Roses told him he needed help. That’s bad when he has to tell you that. Now there in the ocean in this movie and it makes me uncomfortable because I hate sharks. Granted I don’t live anywhere near an ocean but what are they good for? If you can give me a valid reason I’d like to hear it. Another fucking commercial about taking a pill that gives you a bigger dick. Can we stop these commercials. They just had a black dude on here. What you went from 12 to 14 inches? You like that stereotype don’t you. Yeah you need to deal with the fact that there are reasons for them and you can’t pick and choose which ones people can say. Axl I want my f’n Dr. Pepper. Even if the music sucks you should put the album out so we get something for waiting this long. West west yo.

    imageMar 28, 2008 · category: random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • Interesting

    I read this article today about the new Guns N Roses. If they put out the long awaited album (I believe 13 or 14 yrs and 13 million dollars in making it) Chinese Democracy then Dr. Pepper will give everyone in America a free Dr. Pepper. I think the people there are safe but let me tell you something Axl. I want my free Dr. Pepper bitch. Peep the article here. Also at work today an 80 year old man was walking to the golf area with a walker looking to purchase a golf club set for himself……..what? Nice he most likely is a golf shark so if you see him at a course don’t fall for it. I’m sure he drives like Tiger, puts like Phil, and has the mid-range shots like Vijay. West west yo.

    imageMar 27, 2008 · category: music, random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

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