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  • What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?…

    …my ass!

    -Evil Betty-

    Kung Pow

    imageMay 15, 2008 · category: Humor

    Posted by Bourbon Overby

  • Cookie Monster searches deep within himself and asks: Is me really monster?

    Me was thinking and me just don’t get it. Why is me a monster? No one else called monster on Sesame Street. Well, no one who isn’t really monster. Two-Headed Monster have two heads, so he real monster. Herry Monster strong and look angry, so he probably real monster, too. But is me really monster?

    Me thinks me have serious problem. Me thinks me addicted. But since when it acceptable to call addict monster? It affliction. It disease. It burden. But does it make me monster?

    imageApr 17, 2008 · category: Articles, Humor

    Posted by Tom Collins

  • See you on the flipside

    Watched Boondock Saints last night. Fan-freakin-tastic. I love that movie. There are so many funny parts. I love when you’re at work and you have the shirt with the name badge on and someone ask if you work here. No I just come in dressed like them because it’s so fashionable. I’m sitting here watching the movie Casino right now. Great movie but who else can be 4 ft 2 and pull off being a badass  and make it believable besides Joe Pesci? Who? Nobody that’s who. Plus he’s in some other great movies like My Cousin Vinny, Goodfellas, and more.  Scott Weiland left Velvet Revolver today saying he couldn’t get along with the other band members. Wow another band breaks up because of egos. It appears the former members of Guns N Roses can’t find a lead singer that doesn’t think the world revolves around them. So the other day I was getting some protective cups out of a box to put on a peg and this little kid walks up to me with a goofy grin on his face that I was about to give him some candy. It was so f’n funny. Sorry kid all I had were jockstraps and cups. Not as good as skittles. But helps your frank and beans out. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. West west yo.

    imageApr 1, 2008 · category: Humor, random

    Posted by Captain Obvious

  • What is that noise?

    Speaking of ignorance, I cannot tell if this is a cruel joke, lack of self-awareness, or maybe some sort of exercise in boldness/overcoming insecurities.  The dancing guy is amazing.  He probably gets more girls than I do.

    Thank you.  Good night, and good evening.

    imageMar 28, 2008 · category: Funny, Humor, music

    Posted by John Daniels

  • …Sans Garfield…

    Speaking of salsa, here is an archive of “Garfield” comic strips that have had Garfield completely removed.  The great thing is that they are actually funnier than the normal cartoons, it seems.  But also, some tend to be way depressing.  But that’s funny, right?

    Thank you.  Good night, and good evening.

    imageMar 25, 2008 · category: Funny, Humor

    Posted by John Daniels

  • What was he thinking?

    Speaking of Frosted Flakes, to continue on with the theme of “Shut the heck up, you CANNOT sing,” I think we’ve all seen this happen at least once.  First of all, he has a podium in front of him, and he keeps looking down at SOMETHING.  Surely it isn’t the words to the song, because that would be too obvious!  And if they are the words, he STILL got them wrong!

    Thank you.  Good night, and good evening.

    imageMar 20, 2008 · category: Funny, Humor, music, video

    Posted by John Daniels

  • Mastercard Wedding…priceless!

    One of my managers told me about this today while at work. I did some research about it and found it online. This story even made it to Jay Leno. Guys, if you’re out there…take a card from this guy because Revenge is sweet sometimes.

    MasterCard Wedding

    You got to love this guy…

    This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University . It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.

    It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.

    After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.

    He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.

    He especially wanted to thank the bride’s and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

    As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him.

    So taped to the bottom of everyone’s chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

    He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.

    Inside each manila envelope was an 8×10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

    The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

    After just standing there, just watching the guests’ reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, ‘F—you!’

    Then he turned to his bride and said, ‘F— you!’

    Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, ‘I’m outta here.’

    He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

    While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.

    His revenge–making the bride’s parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride’s and best man’s reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.

    This guy has balls the size of church bells.

    Do you think we might get a MasterCard ‘priceless’ commercial out of this?

    Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.

    Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000

    Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.

    The look on everyone’s face when they see the 8×10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.

    There are some things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s MASTERCARD

    Thanks for Playing!

    imageMar 8, 2008 · category: Articles, Humor, news

    Posted by Bourbon Overby

  • I have to vent some tonight

    So I’m back in my chair making it sexy watching Sportscenter and they’re interviewing “the Zenmaster” Phil Jackson of the LA Lakers. You f’n hippie. Why don’t you retire from coaching and go hang out at the vending machines John Daniels wrote about. I bet you weren’t even wearing shoes. I had a good time after work with your Mom. Thank her for me. Hey DiCaprio quit trying to tell everyone to go green you tree hugger. The only way I would look at one of those cars that don’t use gas is if you bought it for me then I’d put it on ebay and sell it to some teeny bopper that wants your love juice. I need the money you don’t. I have to admit I like a lot of your movies though. What I do though is buy a ticket for another movie around the same time then go into yours so I don’t support your hemp sandle wearing ass. You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away by the Beatles is a great song. Plus the title sounds anti-hippie even though I’m sure it’s not. The Beatles are the best band ever and most influential………end of discussion…….don’t even bother trying to argue with me on that. If you do then you’re what I call a fucktard and should go live on a remote island and listen to your gay music. Emo kids. Almost as bad as hippies. Quit talking about how bad your life sucks and quit wearing girl pants. I’m really disappointed with newer music. Most of it is stupid. There may be a good song every now and then but where are the artists who last more than one song or album. I’m tired of music without any lyrical meaning besides what you have or how depressed you are because your Mom didn’t hug you enough. She’s been saving them for me I suppose. Another thing I have to get off my chest about music. One of my favorite bands of all time was the original Guns n Roses not this bs line-ups Axl has put together. What the Appetite for Destruction is wrong with you Axl? (Shout out to Bourbon). First of all you never should have annoyed all your bandmates where they quit or got fired. Second of all how long have we been waiting for Chinese Democracy? Get over yourself. You’re a talented mofo but I’ve lost all interest in even hearing it. Most people that have been waiting on that album forever and enjoy your music have turned to looking foward to the new Warrent album more because at least it will come out even though it will suck. Editor’s note…….I hate Warrent I’m just trying to prove my point to W. Axl Rose. He seems like the type of ego trippin bastard that would read anything that had his name in it. Do you think John Lennon was tripping on LSD when he wrote Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds? Do you think I was when I was writing this blog? The answer would be yes (you can’t not be on something and write those lyrics) and no. All I can say is thank God for Bono, the Edge, Larry, and Adam. They still put out good music. West, west yo I’m out.

    imageMar 3, 2008 · category: Celebrities, Humor, Romance, hippies, music, random, rant, sex

    Posted by Captain Obvious

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