Dive into the archives.
- a rant
So I want to talk about a few things tonight. I know I haven’t been on here in a long time and chances are you haven’t noticed because nobody gets on this site anymore. Let me talk about alcohol real quick. I’m so tired of people using alcohol to do something they wanted to do in the first place or use the excuse that they are young. All alcohol does is intensifies the feelings you have but wouldn’t normally do because you can use the excuse…….I was wasted. That’s one reason I don’t go to bars. Everyone flirts or cheats or whatever and then act like if it wasn’t for the alcohol they wouldn’t have done it. That’s true in a way but alcohol brings out your true feelings. Don’t give me that shit. I’m tired of it. Would you do that if your significant other was there? If you would you’re an ass and your significant other is stupid for being with your bitch ass. I had a friend tell me a story about a friend of his that was in a wreck because some 15 year old got drunk and went on a joy ride and hit them. First of all you shouldn’t be driving anyway. Second you were drunk. He didn’t want them to call the police because he didn’t want to get in trouble. Fuck that. Put his ass in jail so he learns his lesson before he kills someone doing that. He could have really hurt them or someone else. Just because he was stupid other people are in danger. I hope his parents beat his ass. Yeah I said it. I’m also pissed parents don’t beat their kids anymore. I’m not talking about child abuse but whip their butt so they understand. At work I don’t know how many parents just let their kids scream for 30 minutes. Not only is it annoying but that kid will be in therapy in 20 years and most likely be a worthless adult. Now lets get to the “I’m young excuse”. It doesn’t work. When you’re about 12 you should be able to make decisions that are right and wrong with no trouble. If your 15 and you kill someone (I know that’s an extreme but work with me) and he says I’m young…..will that be ok with you. Wrong is wrong. You’re telling me it’s okay that you got drunk last night and did something stupid because your young……..wrong is wrong. Quit using those stupid ass excuses and own up to what you do. Quit blaming everything on everyone but yourself. You do some cocaine and kill someone don’t blame it on the dealer or the person you killed for pissing you off. So f’n sick of it. Another thing pissing me off is how casual people have become about things. I mean in everything. Have some respect for people and yourself. I’m not saying everything is a big deal but there are some serious things that people act like it’s just not a problem. A lot of people don’t understand why I’m anti-social but there is more than one reason and I’ll give you a few. One I’ve lost my faith and trust in people and see how true colors come out in certain situations. Two is because I get annoyed easy and finally I really don’t like much. I was watching the movie Road House the other day and there is a part in the movie that may be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Patrick Swayze is getting beat up by a few guys and Sam Elliot comes out and this big guy says to him “You want to fight old man” to which Sam f’n Elliot says “I’m not here to show you my dick” How awesome is Sam Elliot. One of the coolest voices ever. West west yo.
Aug 25, 2008 · category: f'n raging
Posted by Captain Obvious
- hey black people……some not all
Way to jump on the band wagon once there is a black candidate. Why didn’t you care before? if this the first candidate that cared about you? How many black people just now registered because of this? That’s what I want to know. Shaq did a freestyle talking shit about Kobe. It’s pretty funny. I like how the day after the Celtics won the championship nobody knew because Tiger Woods won the U.S. Open on a torn ACL. Oh yeah he hurt it a year ago. Fuck you Boston. We care about one guy more than your whole stupid city. Let me also say this. Tiger………you can suck a cock. You’re the reason golf is so expensive now. i had fun hanging out with John, Tom, and Bourbon. They played some soccer and then shot some hoops with me. I’m tired of blogging. West west yo.
Jun 23, 2008 · category: Election '08, f'n raging
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Tribute to stupid bitches
What up peeps? I’m pissed because of a stupid bitch screwed over one of my friends. She said to me she didn’t like this dude and went out a few times with my buddy then a day later starts dating “the guy she didn’t like” and he’s a douche bag. Dumb whore. This guy is a nice guy and didn’t deserve this type of treatment. Who hasn’t met a girl like this that plays with 15 different guys emotions at the same time and ends up with the biggest dumb ass she could. This girl better marry rich because she can’t do anything for herself. She’s worked at the store for a few months and still might be the most retarded person there. I hope some dude sticks it in her ass and then leaves. She also complained to the store manager a week or so ago that all the girls were mean to her. Fucking deal with it. People are going to be mean to your stupid ass all the time. It’s because you’re a fucktard that people don’t like you. She’s quitting and today is her last day. Good riddance ho. She also made the comment that this is the first time guys has showed interest in her so she was just confused and thought she would talk to several different people because it made her feel good. Hey dumb ass. I heard heroine makes you feel good so you should try it because you can. West west yo. Yeah I have anger issues.
Jun 20, 2008 · category: f'n raging
Posted by Captain Obvious
- People
I know I’ve posted a few dumb ass post with a clip or link to something but now it’s time to f’n rage. I’m tired of people that will tell you everything that’s going on with them or wrong but won’t listen to you for shit. You tell them something and they go back to themselves. Go fuck yourself selfish bastards. Grow up or die or something. Next time you start bitching to me about something I’m going to cut you off and tell you what I think about your selfish ass. On a happier note hippies can all die. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to have sex with your Mom tonight and west west yo.
May 18, 2008 · category: f'n raging
Posted by Captain Obvious
- This might get our site shut down and kicked off the internet
So I was inspired by Bourbon’s latest rage so I thought I’d up my game. So I listened to some Rage Against the Machine…….Bomb Track. If that doesn’t get you pissed then nothing will. Let me start the raging. First as I was driving to IHOP listening to Bomb Track and I was so pissed about work (I’ll get to it in a minute) that I was hoping a crack head would walk in front of me while I was driving so I could clip him. It almost happened too. These stupid dudes started to walk across the street as I was turning. Luckily for them they jumped back. Now to work. There was a huge douche bag who came in the other day and tried returning a bike and getting full price when it was discounted because it was so old. He said he got it at Christmas when we haven’t carried it for a year and a half. Well John dealt with him and pretty much told him to go somewhere else. This guy thought the world owed him because he had a lisp like one of those gays. Anyway the guy called corporate and got a gift card and came in tonight. They sent me to deal with him and he was as advertised by Mr. Daniels. He checks out this bike and ask me ridiculous questions about it when “he already knows the answers”. He decides on it and I quote “I don’t want to be a butt…….but can you scrape the sticky stuff off of it”. He kept saying I don’t want to be a butt……but. I wanted to say you like it in the butt……….what…..fag. The adhesive from a sticker was on the bike in two spots and he wanted it cleaned off and the tired aired up. We do that and then I take it out to his car and he tells me the store manager told him that he would have the bike inspector check it to see if everything was in order. This guy is the epitome of faggot ass bitch. In fact when I was on my way to IHOP I saw an ambulance driving by and thought I hope that bitch from the store today got in a wreck and died. Fuck him and you for thinking that’s bad of me to say. I feel sorry for his kid, wife, and family having to put up with his lame ass. Before this guy came I dealt with some Mexicans who couldn’t speak very good English……….imagine that. Someone living in our country and not being able to communicate well. First he ask a guy in footwear three times about bikes. Finally I go over there after I got done doing your Mom and killing a hippie and he asked if I could get a bike for him that he was very capable of doing. Then another so I say. You can get these yourself to which his fugly ass wife says in not English…….”excuse me” all high pitched like she’s offended. I say you don’t need me to get it but I can. You don’t need my permission. So they ask me to see if there are any in the back and I go. During that time they ask John for help and as I’m walking back to tell them we don’t have any back there John tells me he’s going to the container to check to see if we have any. Well by that time the guy chooses another back and tells me he wants that bike so I tell him for the 15th time that he just needs to take it up front and pay for it. He leaves and I’m going to tell John that it’s a no go and he’s coming from the container. We didn’t have any regardless but are you fucking serious. I’m finding that if you don’t speak the language well you’re most like retarded too. So the lights go off at work when we’re supposed to be out of there and we were still there. The store manager wants to hold a meeting in the dark. We can’t see him except for the whites of his eyes. I would say teeth too but they’re yellow from all the cock he sucks. He’s the type of person that if he was on fire I would throw gas on instead of water. Burn bitch burn. We don’t need no water let the motherfucker burn. Fucking bastard misuses his authority. Man I want to punch you in the face. We were talking about if we went to high school with someone and they became a stripper how we would go because it would be interesting (because we know them not just because there are tits everywhere) I thought about this and how you could go up to them and say I saw your boobies and how their response would be like so have 1 million other people. Still doesn’t ruin it for me. I would still want to see her fun bags. Heard the worst song of my life tonight at work. Ghetto girl by some bastard. It takes a sample from the Billy Joel song Uptown girl. The guy should be shot and Billy should be shot for creating that song to which this guy used. I love Billy Joel’s music too. Sorry Tom I know you like it………..fag. Man card is revoked until further notice. An Ethiopian won the Boston Marathon. Does that surprise anyone? They have to run from lions and shit. This town ten miles from where I went to college at was destroyed by a tornado about a year ago and they’re rebuilding it for free. I bet your thinking…….Captain how can that be? I’ll tell you how. The f’n government is a bunch of flippin hippies who are trying to “save the tree’s” They’re helping them build it for free by making the town green. I have nothing against the town because it’s free but I’m pissed that the government is trying to turn good people into tree humping, whale saving, vegan hippies. Fuck you government. We need to cut the bullshit and tell it like it is with “the man” and tell them where they can stick their going green bullshit. Fuck off and go to your mistresses and live your double life government because I want nothing to do with your liberal hippies asses. Not all government but most of it. Mother Earth loves you but I think your douche bags. I have a lot more to talk about but I’m done typing. West west yo.
Apr 22, 2008 · category: f'n raging
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Lyrical rage
People piss me off. They can’t keep their mouth shut and ruin shit because they open that thing they suck cock with. Stick to sucking dick you bitch ass fags. The black Laurel and Hardy of fags came into work today and asked me where the sleeping bags were. Here’s how it went. One tall skinny guy and one short and fat one came in and the skinny one said “Scuse me” Yeah that’s right……….scuse not excuse. I looked over and said “Yeah”. He says can you tells me where the sleeping bags is in a gay voice. His gay lover pipes in with……………mmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm. What the fuck? He must be the woman of the relationship because they are always the ones piping in with suggestions when their husbands or whatever are on the phone. I guess that’s the ebonics way of saying “we wants to know where they are” So I tell them and he says “we thanks you” Really? I don’t get it. All I thought was is this Brokeback Mountain and f’n sick. Dicks are for chicks. One of the managers walked by John and I and Mr. Daniels said something to him about how I’m a nice guy and he just keeps on walking by without blinking or even acknowledging us. Guess what…………..fuck you bitch. I’m glad you at least feel a third as much of hate that I have for you towards me. I hope you get fired and are jobless for 6 months. Bitch. One more thing I need to rage about before I go is people not from America originally who come here and think their opinion matters and say how bad it is yet they make all their money from Americans and live here. So they think it’s important that we listen to them. Fuck off and go back to Canada or wherever. I bet you would be broke if you just sold your albums there or wherever it might be your from. Fuck hippies. West west yo.
Apr 20, 2008 · category: f'n raging
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Ready to fucking rage
What up peeps? Captain here and I’m pissed, hate hippies, and want to boink your mom. I’ve got several stories about the young Captain and then Captain now. Like all that third person? First I want to tell a story about when I got chased out of a baseball complex when I was not sober, umping a little league baseball game. It was a hundred freaking degrees and I had already been there for several hours and I was ready to go. So I was behind the plate, kids on second and third with two outs, down by a run. The first pitch was a ball, second a strike, third a foul tip so strike two, two more balls and then it happened. The next pitched bounced like three feet in front of the plate and bounced up into the strike zone. So what did I do. I rung the little bastard up so I could go party again. Well the parents were irate and I wasn’t running because I was scared I was running because of three things. First I wanted to get more unsober, two I didn’t feel like hearing it, and three I was flippin hot. I was supposed to get paid for those games but they must have sent the check to the wrong address. I’m sure it wasn’t because of the other stuff. I have a lot more to this story so I’ll randomly insert them in other post. I’ll insert my penis into your Mom too. So I’m tired of the old days lets talk about current. So today I pissed off a customer really bad to where he cussed at me and told me he was never coming back. Here we go. This guy asked me where we kept the ice packs and I showed him and he said thank you like he was done with me. I was the only one there so I went to help other people or hide in the warehouse. Pick either one. Well I get a call saying this lady and guy needed help in the fitness area so I head that way. I go up to customer service and one of my co workers said this lady needed help with bars for weights and a guy came up asking about………guess what……….yeah ice packs. So I walk over there and ask the lady if she needed help and she told me he was there first. I say I already helped him which he mumbles not very well and I let it go. I help her and get smart with her because she acts like it’s my fault we don’t carry something and says she’s going someplace else. I tell her that’s cool tell them hi for me. Then I turn and say “Listen I showed you where all the ice packs are and you still need help?” He tells me that his wife is in there a week ago and found the one he’s looking for now. So I open up all the different ones we have and we still don’t find it. He keeps going on and on about how his wife found it a week ago. I get tired of it and say if you wife knows where it is then bring her ass in her so she can show me since I work in this department and he thought I didn’t know where it was because his wife told him exactly where it was and we were there and it wasn’t so I don’t get it I guess. He starts getting pissed and telling me that he didn’t like my attitude and appreciate my comments because his wife just had knee replacement surgery and I wasn’t being nice. I told him I didn’t appreciate his attitude that he thought I didn’t know what I was talking about and I didn’t know his wife had surgery and did I look like Mrs. Cleo or some shit. Anyways to make a long ass story shorter he told me that I was an ass and he was never coming back. I hope when he gets home his wife tells him it was a different store. Stupid bitch. A f’n hippie was in the store today swinging a golf club. An expensive one at that. First of all hippies don’t golf because the ball might hit one of their precious humping buddies……….a tree. Second you don’t have a job so you can’t afford it and all the money you do have you buy drugs with. Take a shower you dirty bastard. I’ve got to go so I can get some sleep. West west yo and if your a druggie, hippie, or neither stick that in your pipe and smoke it. There’s a rumor Axl turned in the new Guns N Roses album to the record label. I doubt it but if I haven’t said it before then I want my fucking free Dr. Pepper.
Apr 16, 2008 · category: f'n raging, people
Posted by Captain Obvious
- This doesn’t change things
What up peeps? It’s been a while. I woke up this morning pissed that I had to work and had my mean face on and then the unexpected happened. I saw the funniest looking mofo I’ve ever seen. It was priceless. He was Asian about four foot eight had some high water sweats, a bicycle helmet and some big ass Kevin Duckworth goggles. You know how when you want to be somewhat respectful and wait until they pass you to laugh………..yeah didn’t happen. He looked at me with his goggles and bug eyes and I lost it. I was kind of worried he was going to kung fu me (is that a stereotype?) or outsmart me with his high test scores and SATS (is that one too?) but he just kept walking. I laughed for a good while at him while my coworkers looked at me like it was funny but that you’re a dick head kind of funny. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop laughing. You know when your someplace where you’re not supposed to laugh like church or maybe a funeral and something funny happens and you know every is pissed at you for it but you just can’t stop. So I remembered a story the other day when someone brought up how pissed off people get at the airport. One time I went to visit this chick in California and they lost my luggage which seems to happen a lot. I remember this guy who probably just came to the country being in charge of that area and I was really pissed because I didn’t have my stuff. He was pretty nice and kept apologizing to me about the mistake and I raged on him for like 45 minutes. I remember telling him I didn’t know what they did in his country but I just wanted my fucking luggage along with many other swear words and hang gestures. I’m pretty sure I’m one of the reasons other countries hate us and think we’re arrogant bastards. Look in the mirror ass hole I’m sure you’re a reason too. A cop pulled up on me tonight and asked me what I was doing out at 2:30 in the morning. I told him I was doing the same thing he was trying to make sure the city was safe. He didn’t laugh. Another reason I don’t like cops………..no sense of humor. I’ve got to work in a couple of hours so I’ve got to try to get some sleep. West west yo.
Apr 14, 2008 · category: f'n raging, rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- My ego needs you to read this
What up peeps? Tennessee won the National Championship in women’s basketball………..who gives a fuck? Kansas won the men’s……..does anyone care besides Kansas? It was a great game though. One of Lindsey Lohan’s former bodyguards is suing her for not paying him. You were there when she was sniffing all the nose candy, ruining her liver, and sucking cock…….what did you expect? His name is David Kim. Wonder if he’s Asian. Peep the article here. I also read where they’re making a High School Musical 4. Does anyone care under the age of 16 or old perverts? Watching Goodfellas right now and once again Joe Pesci is a bad ass mofo. On the way home I heard a song called “Listen to Your Heart” by some chick. She was saying listen to your heart before you make a decision. A guy would listen to his dick not his heart. That’s the difference between men and women. Little knowledge for you. West west yo.
Apr 9, 2008 · category: f'n raging
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Something is broken
Oh yeah it’s my give a fuck meter. If you don’t like profanity and people who don’t make sense then stop reading now. First off today is my day off from work. I’m thinking it’s going to be relaxing day. I couldn’t be more f’n wrong. First off I go to get my oil changed at the Honda dealership and have to wait for 50 minutes to get done. During that time I had to listen to a couple of old guys talk without breathing the whole time (how did you not pass out from lack of oxygen?). I seriously think they hang out there a lot or something. The random topics they talked about was amazing. From the war they were in to how they country is gone to hell to teachers in schools to all the health problems they have. I’m not going into detail about all the things they were talking about I’m just going to tell you I will shoot myself before I talk about what they had to do to me at the doctors office and what they shoved up my arse and what not. Everybody does not want to hear that kind of shit. I had a headache by then and I swear they never shut up. They were loud because they couldn’t hear each other. Fuck. Besides that one of their wives was there and she was knitting so there was a clicking noise the whole time. I love how she piped in with her comments every now and then. We had enough noise with your annoying clicking so you could have shut your f’n mouth and I would have been fine. Oh………Captain give them a break they’re old. Fuck that. Nobody is safe. I don’t like young, old, or the in between the same. Don’t get me wrong some old people are cool but these people were annoying. Then when I talked to the lady at the cash out office she tells me I need three new tires. Apparently my back rear tire is so bad I should have died 100 times already or that’s how they made it sound. So I get an estimate and realize that they are trying to stick it in the uncomfortable spot……..that’s right the wallet……….what were you thinking pervert? So I go down the street and get another estimate. Then I call my roommate and he calls a place and finds the best deal. By now I’m so pissed I’m running red lights to get there so they can get my tires done and alignment. First they tell me it will be two hours. Now they say it might not get done by the time they close. Fucking car places. I hate them all. I don’t care if you work there, someone you love you works there, or that they’re human. Fuck them all. So now I’m waiting until 5:30 to see if it will be done tonight. Doesn’t it seem like every-time you get your tax refund back you can’t save it all this shit happens and you have to pay for something to get fixed. F’n government messed up my tires by not having good roads so I couldn’t save my tax money. I hate you bastards. I work at a retail place right now and I have a complaint with people who try to cut deals. No if you buy two treadmills you’re not going to get a price break. We’re not the fucking Compton swap meet. You are bitches and if you want to be a penny pincher (why would they Bourbon? It has that rat bastard Abe Lincoln on them) you need to go somewhere else. I’m done. F off and west west yo.
Mar 20, 2008 · category: f'n raging
Posted by Captain Obvious
