Hello all, this is John.  Finally.  Speaking of alcoholics, what is up with the recent surge of Bluetooth headsets? 

I see the Bluetooth headset as one of a long list of inventions that has a wonderful purpose, yet most people tend to, and this is the only way I know how to put it, abuse it. 

There are some practical uses. 

I think it is great for making/answering calls while driving.  Nowdays, it seems like more and more people have enough trouble driving as it is.  The last thing they need is to have one hand on the wheel and one hand on the phone.  This concept has even sparked an increase in Bluetooth-compatible CD decks.  Now, since people will have twice as many hands on the wheel, they will drive twice as well…right?  Am I correct?  Seems logical.  (But so does communism) 

Another use that seems appropriate would be on certain jobsites, such as construction sites.  Let’s say a person remodels houses and utilizes both hands 99% of the time.  It would make sense to have a hands-free system that would allow him to talk while keeping both hands free to hammer that nail or drive that screw or handle that wood.  

Now, let us discuss some less appropriate uses.  I witnessed this first example recently, and it is in fact what prompted me to bring this issue up. 

A person probably shouldn’t… DEFINITELY should NOT use his or her (in this case her) headset at the opera, or any performing art in general.  This happened at the performance of Lakme I attended recently.  A lady in the row in front of me pulled her headset out of her purse, placed it in her ear, and proceeded to check her voicemail. 

This struck me as ridiculous for two reasons. 

Number one, could she have not just put the phone to her ear?  She actually exerted more effort in digging the small piece out of her purse and puting it in her ear, a little adjustment here, some positioning there, than she would have just pulling her phone out and holding down the “1″ button.  Did she really need both hands free?  I don’t think so, Tim.  I mean, Tom.  Et al. 

Secondly, it makes you wonder what her thought process was before she got out of the car at the opera.  “Ok, I’m going in to see an opera… do I have my Bluetooth headset?  I might need to make a few calls while I am in there.”  I bet she is the kind of person who backs into parking spots, “just because.” 

The Bluetooth headset has quickly gone from a practical tool designed for convenience and, dare I say, safety, yet a few individuals have turned it into some sort of “status symbol” as if people will think “Wow that guy has a Bluetooth headset on.  He MUST be important, or rich, or sophisticated, etc.”  I’m not buying it.  Nor am I buying one of those.  At least, not until I am important, or rich, or sophisticated. 

Other places not to use your Bluetooth headset:  Church, Barne’s and Noble, or any other bookstore or library, Walmart, Starbucks, IHOP, movie theatre, court session, lastly, anywhere I have to see your dumb ass.

One more thing, for you Bluetooth headset abusers who might actually be reading this.  You know that fancy blue light that flashes on and off on the side of your headset?  You might not be able to see it, but the rest of us have to.  I do not know how the others feel, but for me that flashing blue light means only one thing: it is the signal that you probably need a good ass-kicking. 

Thank you.  Good night, and good evening.



[…] we made it flash blue light it would remind them of how they get annoyed themselves when people use BLUETOOTH in ridiculous places. And perhaps if it flashed blue it would remind them to use their […]

Four Wrongs Make a Wrong » Blog Archive » Turn Signals…might as well be smoke signals added these pithy words on Mar 02 08 at 12:10 am

First of all, great first post John. It rivals the Captain’s medicated blog in quality.

Second, a Home Improvement reference? Spectacular.

But “handle that wood”? A penis joke, John. Come on.

Tom Collins added these pithy words on Feb 29 08 at 8:36 am

I now see the light about Bluetooth (insert drumroll here). Thank God it’s not a blue light though because I’d have to go bust a cap on someone. Word.

Captain Obvious added these pithy words on Feb 29 08 at 9:52 am

Blue Light! Its the first sign of the Coming of the Smurfs! What next, using your Bluetooth while smoking Smilax?

Bourbon Overby added these pithy words on Feb 29 08 at 3:37 pm

I agree completely. I think that some people just wear them because they think it makes them look cool, when in fact it doesn’t. It makes them look ridiculous. Especially when they leave it in their ear all the time when they’re not using it. Great post! This has been bothering me for awhile too.

Jason added these pithy words on Feb 29 08 at 11:28 pm

Comments are moderated.

Return to Top

The Evil Known as “Bluetooth”

Tags for this post:



Recent rants...