Dive into the archives.
- Phone of the future…
The Nokia Morph. A cell phone that can take nearly any shape. It’s based on nano technology or something like that. But I don’t really care about the science; it is pretty much the most amazing electronic I’ve ever seen (or, rather, heard of). I am not even going to try to explain it. You just need to watch the video.
Feb 29, 2008 · category: Technology
Posted by Tom Collins
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You know what? I don’t know any gay guys named Bob. In fact, I don’t think there are any gay guys named Bob. What’s up with that?
Feb 29, 2008 · category: random
Posted by Tom Collins
- The Evil Known as “Bluetooth”
Hello all, this is John. Finally. Speaking of alcoholics, what is up with the recent surge of Bluetooth headsets?
I see the Bluetooth headset as one of a long list of inventions that has a wonderful purpose, yet most people tend to, and this is the only way I know how to put it, abuse it.
There are some practical uses.
I think it is great for making/answering calls while driving. Nowdays, it seems like more and more people have enough trouble driving as it is. The last thing they need is to have one hand on the wheel and one hand on the phone. This concept has even sparked an increase in Bluetooth-compatible CD decks. Now, since people will have twice as many hands on the wheel, they will drive twice as well…right? Am I correct? Seems logical. (But so does communism)
Another use that seems appropriate would be on certain jobsites, such as construction sites. Let’s say a person remodels houses and utilizes both hands 99% of the time. It would make sense to have a hands-free system that would allow him to talk while keeping both hands free to hammer that nail or drive that screw or handle that wood.
Now, let us discuss some less appropriate uses. I witnessed this first example recently, and it is in fact what prompted me to bring this issue up.
A person probably shouldn’t… DEFINITELY should NOT use his or her (in this case her) headset at the opera, or any performing art in general. This happened at the performance of Lakme I attended recently. A lady in the row in front of me pulled her headset out of her purse, placed it in her ear, and proceeded to check her voicemail.
This struck me as ridiculous for two reasons.
Number one, could she have not just put the phone to her ear? She actually exerted more effort in digging the small piece out of her purse and puting it in her ear, a little adjustment here, some positioning there, than she would have just pulling her phone out and holding down the “1″ button. Did she really need both hands free? I don’t think so, Tim. I mean, Tom. Et al.
Secondly, it makes you wonder what her thought process was before she got out of the car at the opera. “Ok, I’m going in to see an opera… do I have my Bluetooth headset? I might need to make a few calls while I am in there.” I bet she is the kind of person who backs into parking spots, “just because.”
The Bluetooth headset has quickly gone from a practical tool designed for convenience and, dare I say, safety, yet a few individuals have turned it into some sort of “status symbol” as if people will think “Wow that guy has a Bluetooth headset on. He MUST be important, or rich, or sophisticated, etc.” I’m not buying it. Nor am I buying one of those. At least, not until I am important, or rich, or sophisticated.
Other places not to use your Bluetooth headset: Church, Barne’s and Noble, or any other bookstore or library, Walmart, Starbucks, IHOP, movie theatre, court session, lastly, anywhere I have to see your dumb ass.
One more thing, for you Bluetooth headset abusers who might actually be reading this. You know that fancy blue light that flashes on and off on the side of your headset? You might not be able to see it, but the rest of us have to. I do not know how the others feel, but for me that flashing blue light means only one thing: it is the signal that you probably need a good ass-kicking.
Thank you. Good night, and good evening.
Feb 29, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by John Daniels
- William F. Buckley
Considered the father of modern conservatism, Buckley was the articulate, acute, and always-entertaining pundit with whom many had a love/hate/hate relationship. In the era of O’Reilly and Coulter, it’s safe to say we’ve lost a legend in the urbane and bright voice that Buckley used to elevate political discourse into the twenty-first century.
(via BuzzFeed)
Feb 29, 2008 · category: political, random
Posted by Tom Collins
- Cheeseburger in a can, anyone?
The answer is no. Of course it’s no.
The German company doesn’t ship to the U.S., but we paid an embarrassing price for one on eBay, acquired by an American soldier currently stationed at a German military base. (We’re fairly sure it wasn’t smuggled out of the country in a coffin, à la American Gangster, but we aren’t 100 percent positive.) A few days later, we all eagerly gathered around the hot plate in the A.V. Club labs to see whether cheeseburger-in-a-can could possibly be any good.
Answer: no. Oh dear sweet shrieking Lord, no.
Feb 29, 2008 · category: random
Posted by Tom Collins
- Three Wrongs?
I hope that DB John Daniels posts soon, or else we’re going to have to change the name of the site to threewrongsmakeawrong.com. And that just doesn’t sound as good.
Feb 29, 2008 · category: random
Posted by Tom Collins
- music, random, and a little irony
Let me start this off with saying that if this is funny to you then it just means that I’m flippin hilarious. If it’s not it’s fever induced because I’m sick. Though this may be disputed by many people Hilary Clinton has an innie not an outie. If you don’t get it then I won’t even bother to explain. Brown Eyed Girl is an amazing song. Bob Marley shot the sheriff out of self defense. I shot the Deputy because Bob says he didn’t and I was hanging out with him at the time and felt the need to bust a cap myself. I heard both those songs on the way home from IHOP. I believe in the right to bear arms. I don’t believe in hippies. I love Hidaway Pizza. I don’t like the creepy IHOP pancake chick on their mats. It makes me not want to drink the water I order everytime I go. Now let me tell you about the irony story. So there I was at work minding my business ignoring customers as much as I possible can and this guy rolls up in his wheelchair. He was all by himself and he asked me were the ankle braces were. I tried not to laugh out loud but it was hard. I guess you never know when you’ll twist your ankle that has no feeling in it. One more thing. On the way to IHOP I had a guy in a souped up toyota pull up next to me and rev his engine. I guess he wanted to race me. So the light turns green and he takes off as I’m sitting there thinking does this douche bag want to race me? So he “raced me” and apparantly won because I was wondering if he was serious or not. Congrats dude on winning. That means you must have a bigger man part than me. Insert penis jokes here. While your making jokes about my penis I insert it into your Mom. The end.
Feb 29, 2008 · category: random
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Random thought
I liked Tom Cruise better when he wasn’t weird. When I say weird I mean before he went all Scientology on everyone. Top Gun 4 eva.
Feb 28, 2008 · category: random
Posted by Captain Obvious
- Have you ever noticed..
Lately, I’ve seen quite a few women who I’m pretty sure were supposed to be pretty. I mean, when they were set for creation, they were stamped “hot girl.” So they’re on some conveyor belt being put together somewhere; first, they get the great legs - long, slender, toned; then they get a great caboose - nice curve, some but not too much; and finally, they are endowed with a great chest. And then they get to the end of the conveyor belt, and inexplicably some one fubars the head. It’s a hot girl from the neck down, and then, well, it’s just fugly. What’s up with that?
Just something to think about.
Feb 28, 2008 · category: random
Posted by Tom Collins
- People not of this country
I’m going to get right into the meat and potatoes of this rage/rant. I’m kind of tired of foreign people that come to America and can’t speak freaking English. We should have a law that in a certain amount of time if you can’t speak it well enough to understand then we get to ship your arse back to wherever you came from. Three words don’t count people. Hi, bye, and yes just doesn’t cut it. So there I was at work today and this Asian gentleman comes up to me and starts saying something to me in jibberish and I held up my hand and said “English”. For those who don’t know me I’m a cracker, white boy, peckerwood if you will. I don’t look like I’m from Japan, Mexico, or whatever other country. That was one of two people that did this to me today. First of all if you want to come to America and live the dream that’s fine. Learn to speak the language and I have no problem. Second don’t be so pushy and rude. Only people on the East Coast do that in America and they don’t count because they’re hippie lovers. You’re going to come to our country, not speak the language at all, and then get attitude when I don’t understand what you’re saying. Next time that happens I’ll give you the universal middle finger because everyone understands that. Third if you start speaking louder or yelling I still won’t understand you if it’s not English. This goes along the same kind of lines but a guy told me a story about an illegal immigrant who got in a wreck with a school bus and killed a couple of kids. On top of that she’s gotten pulled over before. Send her back to where she came from to kill people. We have enough of that as it is in America. Some of you might be thinking this is kind of harsh and unfair. Tell that to the family of the little kids that died you flippin hippies.
Feb 28, 2008 · category: rant
Posted by Captain Obvious
- My response to “Violator: A Series on Abe Lincoln”
This a response to the previous entry. Read it here.
There are so many inconsistencies, half-truths and omissions in Judge Napolitano’s speech that I find it peculiar that you chose to use that as your introduction on the subject.
The first comment I will make is this: To judge Lincoln on what soldiers under his control may have done illegaly has no legitimacy. Do you know how many people were under his command? That is the same as saying that Abu Ghraib was Bushs’ fault. Bush wasn’t there, he didn’t over see or approve of what was going on. And in the same vein, it isn’t as if Lincoln was standing there in front of the soldiers as they were breaking the law and approving of what they did. Maybe he did approve, and maybe he didn’t, but you cannot make a blanket statement that Lincoln’s soldiers did wrong, so obviously Lincoln did wrong. That’s just poor logic.
Secondly, Lincoln’s suspension of Habeas Corpus:
To start, Habeas Corpus is not invoked in the Bill of Rights or Constitution. It is an assumed law. Therefore, it was not exactly unconstitutional for Lincoln to suspend it. This was a war, a massive civil war, if you remember. Lincoln was not walking down the street one day when he thought, hey, I think I’ll suspend Habeas Corpus. Lincoln did so in response to riots, local militia actions, and the threat that the border slave state of Maryland would secede from the Union, leaving the nation’s capital surrounded by hostile territory.
Judge Napolitano also failed to mention that Jefferson Davis, the President of the Confederate States also suspended Habeas Corpus, and not only that, he delcared martial law as well.
The Judge also, it would seem, forgot to mention that the United States Congress passed a law during WWII that suspended the writ of Habeas Corpus for unlawful combatants.Bourbon, I look forward to your series on Abe Lincoln, but try to include a video with more substance next time.
Update: In regards to PacMan’s comment that “If the President in Chief isn’t responsible for the actions of his soldiers…” I do agree that he must take responsibility in that all-encompasing way that a President does, but that doesn’t mean HE did it, nor did HE have any literal responsibility for it. It is ridiculous to assume that every time a soldier (or any government figure for that matter) goes out and does some dumb ass thing on his own that it’s the President’s fault. That is just ignorance.
Feb 28, 2008 · category: political, rant
Posted by Tom Collins
- G-String, sans-straps.
Daily candy has come out with something called the strapless g-string. I can’t even begin to know what to say about that. (via BuzzFeed)
Feb 27, 2008 · category: random
Posted by Tom Collins
- Why the hell does every celebrity think their opinion matters?
Take, for example:
Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres made a surprise appearance by video uplink at a Hillary Clinton rally on Monday evening, energizing the young audience and tossing Clinton a few inside-the-beltway questions she might get on a Sunday morning talk show. Clinton took several questions from DeGeneres, who led off by jokingly asking Clinton if she would consider banning glitter. Then the comedian put on a straight face and turned to the presidential horserace.“As we all know,” Degeneres noted, “Obama has now won 11 states in a row. What needs to happen to change the momentum?”
Don’t misunderstand me, I like Ellen. I like her when she’s dancing around on her talk show, because it’s funny. But what does being famous have to do with wisdom? Why should we take the opinion of celebrities just because they’re famous?I mean, first it’s Oprah with Obama. Now it’s Ellen with Clinton. What’s next, Martha Stewart for Romney?Oh well. You can read the rest of the article here, if you so desire.
Feb 27, 2008 · category: political, rant
Posted by Tom Collins
- It’s not about the destination. It’s all about the journey man.
First off my name is Captain Obvious and I like to rage about things that bother me. The name comes from the things I say that are so obvious to me. I don’t get why other people don’t get it. If you take the things I say personal you most likely take yourself way to seriously. I will rage about that some other time but today I want to rage about hippies. Hippies are people who would rather Free Willy or save a tree than take a shower and be responsible and have a job that doesn’t include selling bongs at the local head shop. I understand that Willy is in a tank, fed regularly, and he entertains kids. What’s so wrong with that? Why would he want to be in the ocean where Jaws and five of his friends can come deal with his whale butt? Hey hippies have you never used a piece of paper to write down your hippie poems or music lyrics that makes no sense to anyone but other pot heads? Last time I checked a tree died because of that paper you wrote on not including the pencil you wrote it down with. I know you can’t memorize everything you think of because you have a short term memory span from Mr. Gunja. I’m not saying I hate hippies. The Beatles were hippies and a great band. One of my best friends in the world is a hippie. I’m just saying these things to enlighten those who don’t understand what hippies do to our culture. So many things in this world that dumb down our culture. Maybe some of you think this blog made you dumber for reading it. That’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it like I am to write mine. Just make sure if you have a cause that it’s one worth fighting for and don’t follow a celebrity because you like them in all their movies or someone might have influenced you in one way or another. Form your own opinions and if you want to do something about it then do it.
Feb 27, 2008 · category: hippies
Posted by Captain Obvious
