Home of the Four Wrongs
- I’m pretty pissed off
I’m tired of racist black people. Black people always blame whitey for everything. It’s not my fault you’re too lazy to get a job. How about going and getting something instead of just expecting it. When you get in a powerful position don’t misuse your power. My boss totally does. He treats the black people better than anyone else. You’re the reason that black people have a bad name. I hope someone turns your ass in for the way you treat people. The thing is if you end of getting fired you’ll probably sue the company for being racist. You really just need your ass kicked. Also to all the peckerwoods who try to act black and talk ebonics with him doesn’t work. He still likes black people better than you but good try. You look and sound stupid though. Beverly Hills Cop is on right now and it’s a great movie. Didn’t Eddie Murphy impregnate one of the Spice Girls? Totally forgot about the movie. I’m also tired of people who think you owe them everything in the world just because their buying something from you. Hey two guys who bought stuff today. Why were you parked in the handicap zone? Not one of you bitches even had a limp. I wish a dude in a wheelchair rolled up and slashed your tires and then gave you the middle finger. The Boston Red Sox are the dumbest sports team ever. The fans are fags too with retarded accents. Hey Joe Gibbs stick to NASCAR. Good call on retiring from the Redskins. You haven’t been a good football coach for over two decades. West west yo.
- Larry David chimes in on the Hillary Clinton phone ads…
And he, for one, does not want to see Hillary pick up the red phone.
I watched, transfixed, as she took the 3 a.m. call…and I was afraid…very afraid. Suddenly, I realized the last thing this country needs is that woman anywhere near a phone. I don’t care if it’s 3 a.m. or 10 p.m. or any other time. I don’t want her talking to Putin, I don’t want her talking to Kim Jong Il, I don’t want her talking to my nephew. She needs a long rest. She needs to put on a sarong and some sun block and get away from things for a while, a nice beach somewhere — somewhere far away, where there are…no phones.
Posted by Tom Collins
- Mastercard Wedding…priceless!
One of my managers told me about this today while at work. I did some research about it and found it online. This story even made it to Jay Leno. Guys, if you’re out there…take a card from this guy because Revenge is sweet sometimes.
You got to love this guy…
This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University . It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.
He especially wanted to thank the bride’s and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.
As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him.
So taped to the bottom of everyone’s chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.
He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8×10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.
The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.
After just standing there, just watching the guests’ reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, ‘F—you!’
Then he turned to his bride and said, ‘F— you!’
Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, ‘I’m outta here.’
He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.
While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.
His revenge–making the bride’s parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride’s and best man’s reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells.
Do you think we might get a MasterCard ‘priceless’ commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000
Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.
The look on everyone’s face when they see the 8×10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.
There are some things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s MASTERCARD
Posted by Bourbon Overby
- Not suitable for children?
Speaking of bad odors, has anyone else besides me thought back at how disturbing and inappropriate for children old nursery rhymes are? People recite them in sing-song voices all smiley, not even giving the words a thought. And if it isn’t mommy and daddy telling these stories, it is one of the children’s favorite characters. This is horrible. Think about it… what kind of lessons are kids learning?
Old King Cole had a pipe, and called for it. He called for his bowl too. What was in that bowl? Hmmm, I wonder…
How about the old woman in a shoe? She lived in a SHOE. And I seriously doubt it was a Nike Shox. Anytime I saw an illustration it was an old worn out boot. Oh, and how about the fact that she “had so many children she didn’t know what to do.” She was just poppin’ babies out one after another. And where is the father in all this? Not present. So she feeds them broth, and beats them. Good lesson.
Humpty Dumpty is another one. Pretty sure a hippie thought of this one. An egg sitting on a wall. It falls. And people actually tried to put it back together? It bothers me that the story says “all the king’s horses…couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again.” Why would a horse try to put anything back together? Oh, and another thing, IT WAS AN EGG!! Who cares about putting it back together?!? Scramble it, add some cheddar, and give it to me!
One more. “Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub…” Need I say more?
Thank you. Good night, and good evening.
Posted by John Daniels
#11 Asian Girls
#75 Threatening to Move to Canada
#76 Bottles of Water
#63 Expensive Sandwiches
Posted by Tom Collins
- I apologize for my previous post I re-read it and it was boring
Word up. So how come every Mexican I see has either some gold teeth or some of their teeth have gold around them. Is all they have in Mexico gold? Why are they such a poor country then? I’m not big fans of Indians right now because I have a gambling problem and they take all my money. It’s not my fault it’s totally theirs. What do you need my money for anyway……..to buy some more hooch? I hope my forty bucks you got tonight gets you a couple bottles of vodka. Why are people so paranoid at the Casino? I’m standing over my friends shoulder and this lady kept looking over her like I was about to rob her at any minute. Lady even if you were winning it couldn’t have been much because you were only up to 35 bucks at the time. If I was going to pull out a heater and rob someone it would have to be at least 45 dollars. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is such a good show. Hey George Lopez can we please hear a joke that doesn’t involve Mexican’s or your big ass head? Please. You stolen enough jokes in your career why stop now? I saw a dirty hippie today working at a food store. I guess I should be glad it wasn’t at the local head shop and he was wearing shoes but still a loser for being a hippie. A lot of guys who know my problem with hippies say “dude the chicks were all about free love” Yeah great I want to sleep with a dirty chick that sleeps with any hippie that wants to. No thanks. It’s three in the morning and I’m tired. West west yo.
Posted by Captain Obvious
Apple announced yesterday that they were creating an iFund initiative that made available $100M in venture capital to help companies make new apps for the iPhone.
This either means that there are going to be a few kick-ass apps made by companies taking advantage of the opportunity. Or, it means there are going to be whole bunch of crappy iPhones apps made by companies taking advantage of the opportunity.
Posted by Tom Collins
- Bad tech support…
David Pogue is one of my favorite columnists at the New York Times. For his latest column about bad tech support reps, he went to a tech support company as part of his research and he learned that “when they say, ‘Your call may be recorded for quality assurance purposes,’ that’s only partly true. They also record your calls so they can pass around recordings of the funniest ones.”
They actually gave him one of their “best of” disks.
On one call, the caller seemed to be taking an inordinately long time to complete each instruction she was given.
Agent: Ma’am, I can’t help noticing that every time I give you an instruction, it takes a really long time before you get back to me. Is your computer that slow?
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer. Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse. And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse. Because there’s only one jack.
Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself? You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.
Caller: Are YOU KIDDING ME!? Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow. That’s going to be so much easier!
Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way?
Caller: Six weeks!
Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze.
Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?”
Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”
- Word up
So three fourths of the fourwrongs crew have watched Grandma’s Boy now and we need to get the last one to see it. If you haven’t seen it and you need a laugh throughout the a movie then you need to check it out. My favorite comedy of all time. It consist of all of Adam Sandler’s buddies and the Mom’s from Everybody Loves Raymond and the Partridge Family. Now to a few things I want to talk about. I heard a story about this high school kid who is a hippie. I know what’s this world coming too. He likes to start peace protest and wear tide eyed all the time. He does the whole picket thing and yells no war we want peace. Let me tell you something you dirty hippie (Like you’re going to read this, hippies don’t read) Sometimes we have to go to war to stop problems from happening. Sometimes you have to blow shit up to get attention. I know people don’t like killing and I don’t either but it’s part war sometimes and the military people signed up knowing that it could happen. Also those flyers you hand out are killing trees. Saw a fat kid break his skateboard. It was amazing. He was trying to do some kind of flip kick and when he landed of his board it snapped in half. Tell me the world isn’t cruel. It’s probably the only exercise this kid gets and his board broke. Life is so unfair at times. Hope you get a new board soon kid. You know I’m tired of black people talking about how racist white people are……..it goes both ways. One of my best friends Grandma’s wouldn’t let me in her house because she didn’t trust whitey. The head guy at the store I work at treats black people different than white people. He let’s them get away with stuff he would get onto white people for. If you really want to “be treated equal” you have to do it yourself. I understand there’s racism still in the world I just want people to realize that it’s not just white people on everyone else. I’ve been treated unfairly because of my race a lot in my life. If we are all equal then everyone needs to treat each other the same way. Quit complaining about it all the time and bringing it up everytime something happens. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson just need to stop. Sometimes they make bigger issues out of things that are dying down just because they want attention. Did your Mom not give you enough hugs? You need a hug? West west yo.
- A letter written by Martin Luther King, Jr. from prison in 1963
It is unclear why King is in jail, but the picture and letter are both quite moving. In his Author’s Note, King tells (us) that he wrote the letter (which is very long) “in the margins of a newspaper”, and then continued onto scraps of paper, “and concluded on a pad [his] attorneys were eventually permitted to leave [him].”
His reason for being in Birmingham? Quite biblical:
But more basically, I am in Birmingham because injustice is here. Just as the prophets of the eighth century B.C. left their villages and carried their “thus saith the Lord” far beyond the boundaries of their home towns, and just as the Apostle Paul left his village of Tarsus and carried the gospel of Jesus Christ to the far corners of the Greco-Roman world, so am I. compelled to carry the gospel of freedom beyond my own home town. Like Paul, I must constantly respond to the Macedonian call for aid.
What is even more interesting is King’s description of how they prepared themselves for non-violent demonstrations. They did not merely ready themselves to not be violent, but they taught themselves to take violence, and turn the other cheek, as it were.
We began a series of workshops on nonviolence, and we repeatedly asked ourselves : “Are you able to accept blows without retaliating?” “Are you able to endure the ordeal of jail?”
King, in answer to the letter’s question of “How can you advocate breaking some laws and obeying others?” makes this extremely eloquent and still relevant statement:
The answer lies in the fact that there fire two types of laws: just and unjust. I would be the Brat to advocate obeying just laws. One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that “an unjust law is no law at all.”
- Poop for peace…
April 18 is Poop For Peace Day. No joke.
The east hates the west. The Christians hate the Muslims. The liberals hate the conservatives. The Sunnis hate the Shiites. All across the globe, the chasm dividing humanity is ever deeper. In all the world’s wars against terror, the distinction of who is perpetrating which depends on what side you ask — so divided are we as a species that we can’t even agree why we’re killing each other.
For there to be peace, there must be understanding. For there to be understanding, there must be a common ground. But the further the chasm deepens, the more fundamental to basic human nature the common ground has to be.
And so April 18 is Poop For Peace Day.
Posted by Tom Collins
- Crayon Physics
We all have games that we become addicted to, whether it is on the PC/MAC, Playstation consoles, XBOX consoles, Nintendo products, board games, card games, etc. For me, it is usually some simple Java or Flash game that gets me hooked. However, I’m pretty sure once Crayon Physics Deluxe makes its way onto my desktop, the world will wonder what has happened to me. Ok maybe not the world, but at least hopefully my friends, all 5 of them, will wonder why I never leave my computer.
Thank you. Good night, and good evening.
- Bad drivers…
Nothing bothers me quite like the dumb masses of people who simply do not know how to drive. I’m sure this topic will come up often on this site. I’ve got to start somewhere, I guess. I really really really really hate all the people out there who think they have to go 10 mph UNDER the speed limit when they see a police officer. I mean, what are they thinking? Do they think the cop is going to pull them over for going the speed limit, so they just have to go under it? This actually happened the other day on my way home from work. First of all, I was following a cop around a cloverleaf onto the highway, and he decides he is going to merge on going 55 mph, which is 10 mph under the limit. This is another pet peeve of mine which I’m sure I will discuss at a later time. Back to the point, I go around the cop, set my cruise control for 70, and proceed. The cop gets in the next lane, but stays close, actually passing me and then falling behind, over and over again. This also annoys me. For an officer of the law, he sure does not know how to drive properly. Anyway, as we proceed down the highway, any one we come within close proximity to does what I mentioned before: they immediately slam on their brakes and slow down to 60 or 55. WHY!?!?!?! I’m sure even the most DB cops have better things to do than pull over someone for going 5 over. This is obvious because I made it home ticketless. So why feel the need to go UNDER the speed limit? I guess all I can do is complain, although it will not get anything done.
Thank you. Good night, and good evening.
Posted by John Daniels
- Photographing the Queen
If you have about 8 minutes, this is a strangely alluring article and video of Annie Leibovitz photographing the Queen of England.
The whole video is intriguing, but the most interesting part is right at the end of the clip, where the spokesperson for the Queen is asked if the Queen liked the pictures. Her reply is that the Queen simply “approves the release” of the portraits. “She doesn’t express her views, she simply takes understandably close interest” in the photos that are taken of her. Interesting.
Another interesting tidbit:
Annie really shows her tenacity in this video when she immediately tries to get the Queen to remove her crown after deciding it doesn’t look good in the first shot and not giving up on an original request request to shoot the Queen on horseback inside the state apartments. She brings it up at the end of the shoot as the picture she’d really like to take, laying the groundwork for next time.